Still Thankful?

Well Friends - Thanksgiving has come and gone. Football played, turkey devoured, adult beverages consumed. A week's preparation for a week's clean up. This year I had the pleasure of uniting three generations of Kovacovich's in the beautiful ocean side location of Carmel by the Sea (in California). Between trips to the beach with 11 of the worlds greatest people, I fired up the Twitter back-channel. It was run amok with glad tidings from one cyber friend to another. There were blog posts, hashtags and charitable splash pages....all messages of thanks from one human to another for a year well served.

...on Friday, it was gone!

#thankful was replaced by #blackfriday. Stories of families breaking bread were replaced with pepper spray melees at the local Walmart. Thanks had given way to disagreements again. The spirit of the holiday faded quickly. Today, people are boarding their cars with furrowed brows hesitant to open their over-crowded inboxes. Have we reduced ourselves to one day a year to say Thank You?

We will spend the next few months rushing through stores buying things for people. A way to express our gratitude. "I spent money on you, so I must care"! Office desks will be crowded with wine we won't drink and chocolates that will weigh us down. We spend, consume, and pretend to care; in hopes that it might serve our personal gain.

My friend Pete shared a story of his need for brain surgery this last weekend. My friend Ralph lost his battle to cancer just a week before Thanksgiving. These are real stories that are happening to us every day. I am not willing to believe that we have lost our ability to make human connections at work. We cannot
ignore vulnerability in our co-workers for fear it will create more work.

Are you creating memorable experiences? Are you fostering meaningful relationships? Do you possess the ability to make others feel special?

Yes! You Do!

People need help....and YOU are going to help them. Here's how:
Lead by example
Be a good listener
Put dedicated thought into your Thank You's

If not you, then who?
Sometimes our advice to others is met with reluctance. We feel that we will offer words of encouragement and they will be rejected. What's the use?

People are more willing to accept advising from those who practice what they preach.
Take care of yourself....exercise, eat right and disengage in harmful habits.
Work hard....show up early, work late and be responsive.
Have a plan....short and long term planning allows for clarity of purpose and a fall back plan.

Two ears and one mouth
No one has an answer for everything. If they do, they are simply playing semantics. No one enjoys talking to someone who has a retort to every word spoken. We need to learn to listen more than we talk. We need to be able to take in information and give relevant feedback. Sometimes people just need to get things off their chest. Sometimes people need to be told in direct terms that their actions are inelegant.

Put away the cookie cutters
Now that Thanksgiving is over, you can put away the cookie cutters. It is the time of year when holiday cards come pouring in: Do you have better appreciation for a hand written note or a mass produced stock message? Cookie cutter thank you's serve the direct opposite purpose of their intended gratitude.

The greatest moments you will experience at work will have one thing in common: a lot of thought was put in to creating a meaningful experience. The best gifts you have received have been profoundly meaningful to you because someone took time to know you, researched, and made extra effort to give you something that was irreplaceable. This needs to be part of our every day!

We need to put thought into the experiences we create for our co-workers. Our co-workers need to become our friends.

It Can Happen!

If you put thought and extra effort into everything you do for others you will be looked upon favorably. When people respect you they will always listen to your advice. We will all grow together!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Worst Practices

A few weeks back I blogged about workforce commodity. I work in Human Resources ~ possibly the most restricted department in any company. If we seek change it does not look like thought leadership. Even change needs to look like a commodity:


Step 1: Develop a Committee
Step 2: Author an RFP
Step 3: Collect bids from 'defensible' potential vendors
Step 4: Select a 'safe' partner
Step 5: Write a policy
Step 6: Train
Step 7: (finally) Implement a 'new' program

...after we've navigated this 7 step process, the cutting edge program has become dated. When our employees actually touch the program it is watered down. No one is willing to make a choice without 8 other people to defend the choice. Hours and hours are dedicated to meetings about meetings, calls about calls, and pseudo on-the-job training (to give the less experienced another hole in the punch card). We call this developing people....it is really systematic dulling down. Compartmentalization. Checks and balances. Safe, uninventive, predictable. In an interview we ask what you did at company X that can benefit company Y. When 'vendors' come in to present their solution we ask what other companies in our industry are doing....

It's a copy cat culture replicated to look the same everywhere with a different logo....and we call them Best Practices.

What happened?

How did we go from a creative culture to a cog burning factory of predictability?

When I was a young up-start I couldn't wait to get to work...to learn, to evolve, to have an opportunity to share ideas, to develop my path for development. I figured that if I worked my ass off I would be rewarded. I thought that if I introduced new ideas I would help the company evolve. I thought I worked for a company that welcomed employee feedback as a means to more fully form our organizational strategy.

Boy, Was I Wrong!

In actuality, I was pee pee whacked for sharing new ideas (aka rocking the boat). If I challenged authority in a meeting I was cast off as 'negative'. The people I looked up to as leaders were professional anglers. The company did not want to evolve...we wanted to stay simple, programmable, systematic.

The way to 'climb the ladder' was to accept every directive and pass along the idea to others. There was no originality, nothing innovative! So, you take young talent, have them report to those who pretend to be leaders, and destroy their motivation. It is massively unfortunate but it works most of the time. The idealists are driven to become lemmings because their thought leadership is admonished instead of celebrated.

I remember my first day of High School football camp. I went into the weight room and immediately went to work. I hit every machine...an elder statesman came up to me and said, "slow down dude, it's a marathon not a sprint". Just then, I knew I was going to be massively successful as a member of that school. If the most respected member of the team was telling me to "slow down", I was going to lap him twice.

Some of us are blessed with talent, others try really hard to measure up ~ both have the opportunity to sell out. The little guy can do steroids, the big guy can set a standard of under-performance....that's what we have become, a tribe of followers: "tell me what to do and I'll do it". It's easier to sit on the side lines with arms folded than to get in the game.

Your unique thought is all you have. If you allow 'them' to take that from you, you become one of 'them'!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Will Work for Peace

Career progress is an interesting thing. We all want to advance ourselves professionally: to make a few more bucks, to learn, to lead, to be part of something bigger. Unfortunately, our metrics for progress are often skewed. Very few companies have well defined progress planning. It seems developed mentoring programs are a means to pacify ambition not encourage it. Far too many leaders fail to pass the torch for fear of losing their sphere of influence.


We tend to get ourselves caught up in the task list for advancement without clearly defining our personal vision for professional progress.

Do you want to progress because you believe in what you are doing or are you simply charting the next 'logical' step? Do you seek advice from your 'superiors' because you genuinely respect them or because you are looking for shoulders to stand upon? Is the advice you are afforded in-sync with your personal professional vision?

Based on the success of my father, I took to Corporate America with the intent of climbing the Corporate Ladder. Without personal purpose in my intent, I sought promotions and advancement as validation for my hard work. I was told that in order to make it on the 'fast track' I should do the following:
* Perform to my revenue goal
* Be willing to relocate
* Find a leader on the 'fast track' and attach myself to him/her

...bad advice....

I didn't care about the company I worked for at that time. I didn't know what achieving my quota was doing for the world. Relocation was not a means to make the company better, it was a test of commitment. I certainly didn't respect the 'leaders' who gave this advice. I thought I wanted to be a Manager because it was a perceived vertical move.

I pondered the aforementioned advice, quit the job, and came up with my own metrics for success:
* Have the freedom to interpret my job as applicable to the world around me
* Join an organization that trusted me
* Find a role with flexibility

Moving, making more money, taking on more responsibility, and influencing others to fall in line was replaced by one mission:
Allow me to live my job by my own motivation!

I had been dishonest in my pursuit of what didn't matter to me, and so, I vowed to be honest in the pursuit of what did.

At some point in your career, you will discover the following:
Honest Matters Most
You Must Find Purpose in Every Task
Certain things are unavoidable....give them your least attention

Consider Your Sphere of Influence
In sales, you are generally asked to create recommendations to your customers and prospective customers. Sometimes this is your chance to showcase your expertise. Other times this is the measure by which your BS barometer is put to the test.

We face loaded questions from Managers and Customers alike. We often are not prepared for this pre-framed nonsense and this is where we get caught up.

A customer cannot trust you to be an expert if you haven't considered all the angles

Your boss will not be willing to leave you alone if you haven't proven your ability to self-regulate

Make it Matter
If you are waiting for the perfect job you will forever spend your life in the waiting room.

Fact: There are great people and terrible people in every organization
Fact: A good or bad Boss can make any job good or bad
Fact: Only YOU can determine how the aforementioned factors effect your genuine motivation

Learn to be Ignorant!
I am a hard working man who is fiercely competitive. As such, I tend to freak out when I do my part and others do not. These actions, to my own detriment, reveal my insecurity and work against my effort.

The best advice I have received is to ignore that which is out of my control. It was impossible to accept this passive resistance at first. My mind frame of mutual accountability forcing me to believe that my effort needed to be met and replicated.

Then, something annoying happened and I chose not to give it the power of my influence. Strangely enough, life went on....over time I learned to give little (or no) attention to mundane distractions. And Life goes on.....

If you develop the ability to know where to put your energy (almost) every thing you do has a motivation driven by positive results! Hard to believe, but undoubtedly true. You should give it a try.

I am carried away by Martin Luther King and his words of Freedom. The times in which he spoke were loaded with turmoil. If America emerged from the standoff of civil rights a bolder and better nation, why can't you choose to work the way you like?

YOU choose what fuels your day!
YOU have the ability give attention to what matters!
YOU have the choice to empower or deter the naysayers!
YOU make a masterpiece or trash heap of every given day!
YOU can be FREE!

...and so our task is simple....

Ignore what distracts and empower what motivates!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

"it"

Have you ever heard someone say, "she really has that 'it' factor". The flip side is what people say when they've given up on your issue comprehension, "you just don't get it".

My question: how is it that two little letters can encompass so much? I am all for brevity but it seems reducing awesomeness (or lack there of) down to two letters is a cop out.

So let's explore what we know about "it":
* You either possess the "it" factor or
* You don't get "it"

The Extraordinary Comprehension of Human Interaction
I believe the "it" factor is better described in the above verbiage. There are people that are just really good at understanding people. They know how humans react in certain situations. They can read their partners and opponents and can anticipate their next action. This assists them in pacifying or combating by thinking one step ahead.

...that's better....

I Can't Teach You
I consider myself one who can always give constructive feedback...it is not always what people want to hear. Most often, I can assist people in pondering what they didn't consider in the trenches of the dilemma's detail. There comes the occasional constituent that has a retort for everything. To these folks I am compelled to say, "if you know everything why would you ask for my input".

There is nothing more helpless than having to give up on someone. But, I don't think I've ever disrespected someone enough to tell them they don't get "it".

Get Over "it":
In a few short paragraphs we have learned that the framing of language into a two letter package is merely a conversation diffuser. We use the term "it" to either put a gold star on someone and dismiss them (or to simply dismiss them). Either way...a cop out.

We all have life changing advice to give. We avoid the discomfort of giving advice because we have crutch phrases to lean on. There are so few extraordinary Mentors in this world. We care not to jump over the fence of mediocrity because we fear we might scrape our butt in the process.

Let's End "it":
Try harder to articulate a unique message than to fall back on simple bookend phrases.

Next to you segue way to a point's conclusion by saying 'at the end of the day'; catch yourself. Try to find a term relevant to the conversation. Emphasize your point instead of discrediting your social grace.

"it" is two letters that are short for: I Don't Care About You!

You can do better than that (or should I say "it")!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

The Art of Being Selfless

How is it possible to be giving and self-motivated at the same time?

To support others while focusing on personal directives may categorically be competing ideologies. We strive to convince ourselves that there are two types of people in this world:

1. Those who focus, win, and allow no one to deter their forward motion
2. Those who are passive, ability free, and weak

Today we are going to explore how these seemingly competing ideologies may just be part of the same emotional package. I will do this by examining 3 simple principles:
* The will to win is an act of Love
* To compete only for validation is an act of insecurity
* Giving with the expectation of recognition is an act of cowardice

The Heart is on the Inside
You see the person who wins a football game and thanks God. His faith in himself being just as important. What drove him to win was the total confidence that he had in his ability and his willingness to recreate possible as it happened. His faith in god may have given him the extra inch but the other 10,000 inches came from preparation, self discipline, and creativity.

To win is not in effort to see others lose but rather an offering to lift them up. It is hard to be the best - everyone is always gunning for you while you have reached your highest point of potential. The great ones find an art in the game. They win for the sake of redefining themselves in an effort to create a different landscape; every day. Art is an act of creativity. Creativity is powered by the human condition of Love. Those who find new landscapes win and therefore; Winning is an Act of Love.

In order to be truly great, one must be ignorant of their competition not driven to best them.

Look At Me!!!!!!!!!
You can detect those who are full of sh*t pretty easily:
They talk too much
They consistently tout their achievements
They make an effort to point out their selfless nature

To speak without intent is to babble like a fool. There is never a need for explanation. People get hung up on re-iterating their greatness. They think that by consistently mentioning how awesome they are, we are going to have an Epiphany, and bow to their excellence. Don't flatter yourself and don't insult our intelligence.

The big mouths only act so because they want to beat you to the punch. They would not dare sit down and reveal themselves...they need to be represented by the bravado of their self marketing. They are not shouting for joy, they are crying for help.

No Reciept Necessary
No one ever sees the richest people in the world. Those who are truly charitable send an envelope, they don't require a red carpet. People who are genuinely dedicated to helping in the workplace do not need anything in return for evolving others: they do it because they care about their company and it's legacy.

Halls of Corporations are filled with so-called do-gooders who mask their goals for personal development in the positioning of helping others.

The test is simple: if you wait to pick up that piece of paper in the hall until the boss walks by you are masking your selfishness in pseudo-community service. If you have to have 4 vodka tonics before voicing your professional opinion, your thoughts will never be respected.

It's OK to care and show that you do. It's OK to shelf the facade and speak your mind. You have to help those around you without expecting a pat on the back.

No deed goes unnoticed and the pretenders are always exposed!!!!!!! Trust me on that one!

You need to validate those that are busting their tail for the sake of contributing to the success of your organization (and expect nothing in return). The moment you pull your hand back and put your head down, everything you were grabbing for will come to you. Helping others is the only way to help yourself. Do unto others without worrying about how it will advance you!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

The Environment

No, this is not another green initiative plea to Save Mother Earth.

I mention not the air we breath outside but the mood inside the office.

It is undeniable that we become a product of our environment. The professional behaviors we learn at our first big job will serve one of two purposes:

* The foundation of our professional integrity

* A example of what not to do

On our first day of work in a big office we are energized, full of hope and ready to learn. If we are taught how to take accountability, channel our motivation and learn from our failures; we are several steps ahead of the game.

The best professionals are positive, strategic thinkers who stay upbeat, find a solution and dedicate themselves to turning goals into realities. Someone at some point encouraged them to act in such a matter. They put aside their inherent desire to complain, put their head down and got things done. Once you learn how to do this you never look back!

The worst professionals I know complain about everything: lack of support, poor resources, short comings that were not their fault. Most likely, it was a reactive nature of their first boss that taught these otherwise well intentioned people to fail and make excuses.

As Leaders we have to understand that every leaf that falls from our tree effects the environment in which we put our foot down....and then some.

If you are a manager, director or VP and pursue any part of your day with negativity, excuses or reactive behaviors....the inevitable failure of the earthlings will be your fault and you will be cast off into the cosmos with Lex Luther to sail through eternity in screams of misery!

It doesn't matter how many degrees you possess, how many years you have been excelling as a professional or who you know......the less than intricate rules of leadership are as follows:

* Stay Positive

* Allow people to fail and learn from failures

* Help people redirect their complaints into action items

* Recognize accomplishments (no matter how big or small)

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

references:

http://twitter.com/davidkovacovich

www.linkedin.com/in/davidkovacovich

Exploration not Expertise

It is documented somewhere that 10,000 hours of work make you an 'expert' in any given field. I have also heard it said that if you read 5 books on any topic you become an 'expert' in your researched topical landscape. The problem I have with expertise is the seeming finality to the title. In a constantly developing world how can your proficiency in any given profession assure a timeline of 'end all, be all' knowledge. As if to insinuate there is a cap on knowledge acquisition.


In the world of Employee Rewards, tenure celebration has become synonymous with 'entitlement'. While I cannot envision a time when loyalty to an organization would not be celebrated, I do understand the sensitivity of human boundaries.

We All Want to Share!

Having spent nearly 10 years at a company I elected myself a voluntary mentor to every new recruit that walked through the door. I told him/her the unwritten rules of the company, industry and our operation....guess what? Nobody asked me. I thought because I had endured a highly competitive position for a long time that I knew the 'secret sauce' to success. However, by touting my tenure I came across two realizations:

* The Newbies saw my advice as regulation and no one likes to be tied down.
* Having been in the same position for 10 years without vertical movement was not exactly looked upon favorably.

In Unzip Your Soul, I have proposed to keep your head down in your first 6 months of employment at any given company. This advice has been met with a fair amount of criticism by the 'kick down the door' impact players. I understand the need to make a steady first impression but Bravado diminishes your accomplishments. Get in, be pleasant, take advice and let your results speak for themselves.

This entry level advise can also be conveyed to the elder statesmen (and women) in any given organization. A few things to consider:

* New Hires have a set of personal goals that may include surpassing your achievements.
* When you convey limitations you simply set the bar for New Hires to surpass.
* New Hires share your sentiment to ease into a relationship...
* If you know everything, they will respect that and reach out in due time.
* Wait to be consulted!

I don't believe there is such thing as 'entitlement' nor do I believe in the need to make a lasting first impression. The key to successful professional partnerships is ease of navigation. If you are receptive to new opinions without opposition you will be admired...whether it's your first day or your 10,000th hour on the job.

Be Graceful in your Interaction and people will come knocking for Advice.

Don't Forget to Remember!

- Dave

www.linkedin.com/in/davidkovacovich