Personal Relevance

This is the 3rd installment of the Employee Purpose Perspective (EPP). What have we learned so far?

* Collaboration is better than competition
* One must have purposeful intent to discover a meaningful worklife


We have agreed to find purpose in a common cause. Now it's time to understand the extended relevance of this cause to our livelihood.

The worst advice I ever got was to keep my employees at arms length. I was told not to get too close to my team because it would make leading more difficult. That's hogwash.

I believe forging personal relationships beyond products and services is what turns a company into a culture. By simple premise, if I respect you as a person, I will respect you as a professional. It does not always work the other way.

The person who advised me to keep from engaging my team in my personal life was afraid. She thought revealing her true self made her vulnerable. If you dislike yourself you may assume others will too...so you put up a facade. My contention is that by making ourselves personally available we cross the line from numbers to people and make it personal. Human connection is what makes good companies great.

Even the most strategic facade creators are always revealed. Anyone can put together a company, sign checks and produce profits. People come and go from companies, they stay in cultures of appreciation driven by leaders with Human Connection.

So Let's Get Personal!

I sat with a client a few months back. I advised him how to run his company, he nodded and appreciated the advice. After enduring my professional bravado he asked me where I lived. I told him and returned the question. For the next half hour he told me a story of his house burning down and the uncertainty of 2 hours away from his children after hearing of the fire. A humanizing story. I will never forget this man!

We walk in and out of buildings, file contracts, make copies, shake hands, smile and give advice. But, without getting to the center of people's being we cannot form lasting connections. Without lasting connections we commoditize our relationships. If our relationships are commodities they are easily replaced by the next thing with a smaller price tag.

Think about the best boss you ever had. My guess is that he/she was a better friend than an advisor. We learn from our mistakes, but we do not want to be consistently reminded of our inefficiencies. Think about the best customer you ever had. My guess is the personal connection was more important than products and services. You could probably speak in honest terms to this person when your product failed. If expertise is all you have, and your product fails, your credibility is shot.

Why are we afraid to admit we are fallible? Why are we surprised that we are easily replicable if we do not have personal connections. You are a person not a number. You have a unique presence that no training course or product knowledge can replace.

Your unique, differentiating skills are what make you indispensable. Why would you be afraid to reveal them.

If I know a man has no home to return to, I will strive to make his worklife easier!

Revealing your personality in your professional life is an element of personal security. If you think in opposite terms, you are a replicable commodity.

Make It Personal!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

"it"

Have you ever heard someone say, "she really has that 'it' factor". The flip side is what people say when they've given up on your issue comprehension, "you just don't get it".

My question: how is it that two little letters can encompass so much? I am all for brevity but it seems reducing awesomeness (or lack there of) down to two letters is a cop out.

So let's explore what we know about "it":
* You either possess the "it" factor or
* You don't get "it"

The Extraordinary Comprehension of Human Interaction
I believe the "it" factor is better described in the above verbiage. There are people that are just really good at understanding people. They know how humans react in certain situations. They can read their partners and opponents and can anticipate their next action. This assists them in pacifying or combating by thinking one step ahead.

...that's better....

I Can't Teach You
I consider myself one who can always give constructive feedback...it is not always what people want to hear. Most often, I can assist people in pondering what they didn't consider in the trenches of the dilemma's detail. There comes the occasional constituent that has a retort for everything. To these folks I am compelled to say, "if you know everything why would you ask for my input".

There is nothing more helpless than having to give up on someone. But, I don't think I've ever disrespected someone enough to tell them they don't get "it".

Get Over "it":
In a few short paragraphs we have learned that the framing of language into a two letter package is merely a conversation diffuser. We use the term "it" to either put a gold star on someone and dismiss them (or to simply dismiss them). Either way...a cop out.

We all have life changing advice to give. We avoid the discomfort of giving advice because we have crutch phrases to lean on. There are so few extraordinary Mentors in this world. We care not to jump over the fence of mediocrity because we fear we might scrape our butt in the process.

Let's End "it":
Try harder to articulate a unique message than to fall back on simple bookend phrases.

Next to you segue way to a point's conclusion by saying 'at the end of the day'; catch yourself. Try to find a term relevant to the conversation. Emphasize your point instead of discrediting your social grace.

"it" is two letters that are short for: I Don't Care About You!

You can do better than that (or should I say "it")!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Hogwash

Sitting at a conference last week the person next to me turned and said, "why would we care about this?". She didn't know me but she was aware that I could have cared less about the subject matter. The real issue lies in the fact that the speaker failed to recognize what everyone else felt apparent.

Every great Quarterback knows how to read the defense and to call an audible where necessary. As a speaker, presenter, salesperson or conversationalist you have to adapt. Read your audience and adjust your message accordingly.

I have a few confidants that assist in my development as a professional. They do not work for me or with me but we face similar challenges. Our conversations often drift from standardized sales process to human theory. We discover that as we mature as human beings our process becomes less important than our intent. We discover that it is less important to know your product and more important to know your audience...and to differentiate a solution accordingly.

Here are the Keys to Differentiation:
Listen
Apply by Situation
Tell a Story

Two Ears & One Mouth
I used to think that possessing the 'gift of gab' was the key to being an admirable professional...I could not have been more wrong! If you walk into an office dressed sharp, pull up a fancy PowerPoint and start laser pointing your outstanding features the reaction of your audience will be two fold:
The precept that you are insanely self-centered
The Charlie Brown Teacher Scenario

I use every introduction to a person as an opportunity to learn as much about them as possible. Ask 20 questions, retain 3 or 4 key facts and work them into your next conversation. Likewise, with a prospective customer, listen to their pain points and articulate your solution to them in a meaningful follow up conversation.

Just for YOU
People are startled when you meet with them a month later and recite things they have mentioned..."you have a great memory", they may say. If you site an entry from this blog in conversation with me you can guarantee my attention.

People exist to have their thoughts validated and addressed. Take in as much information as possible before your propose what you can do for someone.

Expertise is a silly myth. A book cannot tell me what you face in your corporate environment. You have to know the applicable nature of your products and services, the according scalability and how to uniquely apply a prescription for the pain.

Story Telling
We have a customer who we assisted in a similar situation...
I just read a piece that mentioned a similar conundrum...
I walked into an office just last week....

We are 5 times more likely to remember a solution when framed in a real life situation. Get good at story telling.

The way to convey confidence is to address people in direct terms by showing you have listened to them. Hogwash only matters if you are bathing pigs. Your ability to be a skilled professional lies in your ability to convey your human understanding.

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Without Category

In Human Resources we are research heavy: white papers, surveys, references....."show me what other organizations are doing". While 'proof' is always great to defend your decisions it also detracts from your need to be original in your design process. How would 'what works across the street', work in your halls of sacred organizational interaction?

Dare to Know Your People!....and design something completely unique to your company culture.

We live in a time where insecurity has created a need for metrics. New hires must have certification, qualified experience and the test results to prove it. New vendors will require 28 references and a 20 year business prospectus. It is understandable that the need to protect one's position would require some hard facts.

How does hiring safe differentiate you as a thought leader?
What critical organizational differentiator does fact checking serve?

What if we lived in a place where there were no presupposed metrics for success...if the organizational function we performed was completely unique...if every company had their own identity? What if every CEO knew what her people wanted and was able to create a culture around the aspirations of those in the trenches?

Further, what if we lived in a world where gender, race, professional position were not preconceived fuel for our insecurities? Hard to Imagine? It's not so hard if you TRY!

Creativity is killed by standards and regulation....how can companies celebrate the unique people in their cubicles without cultivating an organizational culture.

Create and Differentiate don't Copy and Check the Box!

Don't Forget to Remember!

- Dave

http://twitter.com/davidkovacovich