Still Thankful?

Well Friends - Thanksgiving has come and gone. Football played, turkey devoured, adult beverages consumed. A week's preparation for a week's clean up. This year I had the pleasure of uniting three generations of Kovacovich's in the beautiful ocean side location of Carmel by the Sea (in California). Between trips to the beach with 11 of the worlds greatest people, I fired up the Twitter back-channel. It was run amok with glad tidings from one cyber friend to another. There were blog posts, hashtags and charitable splash pages....all messages of thanks from one human to another for a year well served.

...on Friday, it was gone!

#thankful was replaced by #blackfriday. Stories of families breaking bread were replaced with pepper spray melees at the local Walmart. Thanks had given way to disagreements again. The spirit of the holiday faded quickly. Today, people are boarding their cars with furrowed brows hesitant to open their over-crowded inboxes. Have we reduced ourselves to one day a year to say Thank You?

We will spend the next few months rushing through stores buying things for people. A way to express our gratitude. "I spent money on you, so I must care"! Office desks will be crowded with wine we won't drink and chocolates that will weigh us down. We spend, consume, and pretend to care; in hopes that it might serve our personal gain.

My friend Pete shared a story of his need for brain surgery this last weekend. My friend Ralph lost his battle to cancer just a week before Thanksgiving. These are real stories that are happening to us every day. I am not willing to believe that we have lost our ability to make human connections at work. We cannot
ignore vulnerability in our co-workers for fear it will create more work.

Are you creating memorable experiences? Are you fostering meaningful relationships? Do you possess the ability to make others feel special?

Yes! You Do!

People need help....and YOU are going to help them. Here's how:
Lead by example
Be a good listener
Put dedicated thought into your Thank You's

If not you, then who?
Sometimes our advice to others is met with reluctance. We feel that we will offer words of encouragement and they will be rejected. What's the use?

People are more willing to accept advising from those who practice what they preach.
Take care of yourself....exercise, eat right and disengage in harmful habits.
Work hard....show up early, work late and be responsive.
Have a plan....short and long term planning allows for clarity of purpose and a fall back plan.

Two ears and one mouth
No one has an answer for everything. If they do, they are simply playing semantics. No one enjoys talking to someone who has a retort to every word spoken. We need to learn to listen more than we talk. We need to be able to take in information and give relevant feedback. Sometimes people just need to get things off their chest. Sometimes people need to be told in direct terms that their actions are inelegant.

Put away the cookie cutters
Now that Thanksgiving is over, you can put away the cookie cutters. It is the time of year when holiday cards come pouring in: Do you have better appreciation for a hand written note or a mass produced stock message? Cookie cutter thank you's serve the direct opposite purpose of their intended gratitude.

The greatest moments you will experience at work will have one thing in common: a lot of thought was put in to creating a meaningful experience. The best gifts you have received have been profoundly meaningful to you because someone took time to know you, researched, and made extra effort to give you something that was irreplaceable. This needs to be part of our every day!

We need to put thought into the experiences we create for our co-workers. Our co-workers need to become our friends.

It Can Happen!

If you put thought and extra effort into everything you do for others you will be looked upon favorably. When people respect you they will always listen to your advice. We will all grow together!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

4 Stories from the Final 4 - Part 2

Mark 'mad dog' Madsen, Tom Tolbert, Bill Laimbeer - we all love the hard driving big man on the basketball court. Not just because of of their contradiction to the more elegant athletes out there, but because they make us feel like we can do it too. Guess what, we can't. The shooters, passers and strategic rebounders all have their designated spot on the roster. If you are a 'garbage man', like the 3 aforementioned clumsy heroes, your job is far more difficult. Get out there, throw some elbows, dive for the loose ball, grab a rebound and intimidate the opponent's star player from taking the big shot. These guys may look inelegant in the process but they can save their team the 6 to 8 points that make the difference in the game.

Introducing Josh Harrellson. The University of Kentucky's rebounding, shot blocking, elbow throwing, clumsy hero! Another inductee into the crazy white guy hall of fame. Against Ohio State, Harrellson busted his eye open and endured. Against North Carolina, He hit the deck hard and got up to charge his opponent. He is unfiltered, raw, and the embodiment of competition.

There are those in life who are naturally gifted. They have an ability that works at a higher level than the rest of us. My guess is that the game of basketball has not come naturally to Josh Harrellson. He worked and worked and continues to work. Where others see their future in the NBA in the court's reflection; Josh Harrellson see his blood, sweat, and tears. It is one thing to come out to the job knowing you are bigger, faster, or stronger than your opponent. It is something much different knowing you do not possess God Given ability...and that you have to make up for it with hard work and determination.

We love amateur athletics because of the spirit the players bring to the game. It is not a job, it is still a labor of love. When Josh Harrellson dives into the stands he does so not to earn points on the NBA scouting report but to earn an opportunity to play another game.

What a concept....to appreciate the opportunity and to work hard every day to keep it!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Personal Relevance

This is the 3rd installment of the Employee Purpose Perspective (EPP). What have we learned so far?

* Collaboration is better than competition
* One must have purposeful intent to discover a meaningful worklife


We have agreed to find purpose in a common cause. Now it's time to understand the extended relevance of this cause to our livelihood.

The worst advice I ever got was to keep my employees at arms length. I was told not to get too close to my team because it would make leading more difficult. That's hogwash.

I believe forging personal relationships beyond products and services is what turns a company into a culture. By simple premise, if I respect you as a person, I will respect you as a professional. It does not always work the other way.

The person who advised me to keep from engaging my team in my personal life was afraid. She thought revealing her true self made her vulnerable. If you dislike yourself you may assume others will too...so you put up a facade. My contention is that by making ourselves personally available we cross the line from numbers to people and make it personal. Human connection is what makes good companies great.

Even the most strategic facade creators are always revealed. Anyone can put together a company, sign checks and produce profits. People come and go from companies, they stay in cultures of appreciation driven by leaders with Human Connection.

So Let's Get Personal!

I sat with a client a few months back. I advised him how to run his company, he nodded and appreciated the advice. After enduring my professional bravado he asked me where I lived. I told him and returned the question. For the next half hour he told me a story of his house burning down and the uncertainty of 2 hours away from his children after hearing of the fire. A humanizing story. I will never forget this man!

We walk in and out of buildings, file contracts, make copies, shake hands, smile and give advice. But, without getting to the center of people's being we cannot form lasting connections. Without lasting connections we commoditize our relationships. If our relationships are commodities they are easily replaced by the next thing with a smaller price tag.

Think about the best boss you ever had. My guess is that he/she was a better friend than an advisor. We learn from our mistakes, but we do not want to be consistently reminded of our inefficiencies. Think about the best customer you ever had. My guess is the personal connection was more important than products and services. You could probably speak in honest terms to this person when your product failed. If expertise is all you have, and your product fails, your credibility is shot.

Why are we afraid to admit we are fallible? Why are we surprised that we are easily replicable if we do not have personal connections. You are a person not a number. You have a unique presence that no training course or product knowledge can replace.

Your unique, differentiating skills are what make you indispensable. Why would you be afraid to reveal them.

If I know a man has no home to return to, I will strive to make his worklife easier!

Revealing your personality in your professional life is an element of personal security. If you think in opposite terms, you are a replicable commodity.

Make It Personal!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave