Caring

With the NBA season coming to a conclusion we revisit the legands of the past:

• The great Larry Bird said he had only cried twice in his life, once when he lost the NCAA championship and once when losing an NBA championship...both times he lost to Ervin Johnson.
• Michael Jordan said that he loved the thrill of winning a championship so much that he dedicated himself to winning as many as he could.
• Billy Beane (Oakland A's GM) admitted that he hated losing even more than he enjoyed winning.
• ...and now Lebron James has finally fulfilled expectations. 

Of the above mentioned only one of them had it right. Let's explore why:

Great Expectations
The Great Cathy Berky recently shared an act of vulnerability in our LinkedIn group. She noted that her expectations of herself had always been exceedingly high (which is what makes her great).
She followed up by saying that she had found peace by allowing curosity to lead.

I wonder if Larry Bird loved basketball as much as we all think he did? He was a pure shooter and a fierce competitior, equal parts artist and warrior. The questions lies in why he cared so much? Did he want to win more than anything in the world or was he terrified of losing?

That's what losing sounds like...
The Great Billy Beane was quoted as saying that he hated losing more than he enjoyed winning. That sense of motivation built a fire in him that put him in a position to become the best paid in his profession. The true joy comes in winning and if you win only to keep from losing, you neglect your ability to celebrate.

To prepare and best an opponent seemingly stronger and more qualified than you is the ulitmate feeling of success. You don't prepare and try hard because you want to see the Giant cry. You win to prove to yourself that you can do anything and that nothing is impossible in this sad and beautiful world.

It's about freaking time!
Lebron James, the greatest basketball player of our time, has finally won a championship. Always big for his age and blessed with extraordinary athletic ability, Lebron James became a fan favorite by the time he finished high school.

Then something happened....

The expectation of greatness bestowed upon Lebron James did not manifest itself quickly enough. In this quick fix society, we want results....right away. So Lebron's love for Basketball turned into a job. He stopped running around with joy in his heart and started over-thinking the process of winning. He lost the joy and laced up the shoes with an assumed obligation to fulfill public expectations. When he hoisted the championship trophy on Thursday night, the thrill of being the best was replaced by the relief of achieving what everyone knew he was capable of.

...the real answer
My Dad once told me never to make a decision based on money. I replied that he had money. To which he retorted, "that's because I never made a decision based on money". My Dad knew what Tony Hsieh later explained:
If you lead with a purpose for which you have a passion, the profits will come naturally.

Think of it this way...
would you rather win a championship with your truest friends by your side or move across town just to play on a better team with a bunch of strangers?

Our motivation cannot be defined by what we think to be the right way, but by what we believe we were put on this earth to do.

Do you remember the show The Wonder Years? Kevin's dad would come home angry every day and proclaim "work is work". Do you ever feel like Kevin's dad? That the work you do is lacking purpose? That the passion is gone? That you are just in it for a paycheck?

It's not 1950 anymore! You are now more empowered as an employee than Kevin's dad ever was. In fact, you don't have to put up with losing anymore!

You are in control!

To put effort into something so as to avoid losing defeats the purpose of living. To win your way, by your rules, is the most empowering thing in life. If you allow others to make the rules, your chances of losing increase. To play another person's game and to win serves to validate your worth. Love is created by flipping the rules on their ear, finding a better way, and proving that it works better.

Your greatness is defined by the JOY you find in winning, not the relief of doing enough to keep from losing!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

The Smile Priority

The year of 2011 will be concluded sooner than we know it. This means it's time to reflect: To be thankful for the people who care for us, to celebrate our achievements, and to assess potential areas of improvement. Perhaps the most valuable year end evaluation is the recognition of what we desire...and if its worth our energy?

We are motivated by that which we feel we need but do we really need it. Each year my wife and I rush to malls to fill the wish list of our extended families. We stand in line to grab to kids the hot new toy. We use SPIN selling techniques to uncover our unmet gifting needs.
Far more important than these grandiose, over-promoted, milestone family events are the moments in-between. If you think about the best times in your life, I would bet your memory may turn to a Tuesday afternoon in the park (not the events that took a year to plan). While we will never cancel Christmas it is important to reflect on what is truly important. Ask yourself the following and dedicate your energy accordingly:
What do I really need to be happy?
Why do I care about the things that suck the energy from me?
Is my goal setting in line with my pursuit of happiness?

Happiness
I have really enjoyed being part of the Delivering Happiness Movement. This group gathers, reflects, and sets priorities based on one thing: Happiness. People thought Tony Hsieh was nuts for founding a company that used happiness as it's core purpose.....Tony's critics were wrong. What the critics didn't know is that Tony had studied the psychology of motivation. He affirmed that people just want to be happy. He also knew from his time at Harvard, Oracle and as an entrepreneur that people mask their true intent.

We put on professional attire, speak with strategic business language, and align ourselves with those climbing the ladder. We neglect to display our true feelings. This is because the release of professional trappings generally leads to vigilante behavior. Tony Hsieh set out to dispel professional bravado and inspire......not by giving employees a forum to complain but by allowing employees to be happy.

Energy
Most great organizations have that one person who is a spark plug. He/she is always upbeat, driven, looking for solutions to problems no one else wants to touch. That person creates a ripple effect and the organization embraces his/her energy. You don't think that person has moments when they want to give up? The trick is to be uncompromising in your ability to achieve. If you allow detail to derail you, you will never be happy.

You too, can be that person of unlimited energy. All you have to do is to let possibility drive instead of being hung up on what sucks! YOU control two things: your perception and your attitude. You have to be light on your feet to consistently transcend the hurdles before you!

The Marriage of Effort & Happiness
Are you motivated by a task list or a grand purpose? If every day you strive to complete everything on your 'to do' list, success is impossible. You need to stop worrying about the 'what' and get down to the 'why'.

If you know what is genuinely important to you and you act accordingly, success is inevitable. All you have to do is assess every task to your grander purpose and prioritize accordingly. You might be amazed when you find out that others value the same things you do....and could care less about the mundane detail that stresses you out!

Life is a merry-go-round. Every day we have our moment of glee and our fits of frustration. If nothing else, allow the glee to take more of your attention than the frustration.

"More than anything...I want to see you take a glorious bite out of the whole world"
- Snow Patrol

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave