Caring

With the NBA season coming to a conclusion we revisit the legands of the past:

• The great Larry Bird said he had only cried twice in his life, once when he lost the NCAA championship and once when losing an NBA championship...both times he lost to Ervin Johnson.
• Michael Jordan said that he loved the thrill of winning a championship so much that he dedicated himself to winning as many as he could.
• Billy Beane (Oakland A's GM) admitted that he hated losing even more than he enjoyed winning.
• ...and now Lebron James has finally fulfilled expectations. 

Of the above mentioned only one of them had it right. Let's explore why:

Great Expectations
The Great Cathy Berky recently shared an act of vulnerability in our LinkedIn group. She noted that her expectations of herself had always been exceedingly high (which is what makes her great).
She followed up by saying that she had found peace by allowing curosity to lead.

I wonder if Larry Bird loved basketball as much as we all think he did? He was a pure shooter and a fierce competitior, equal parts artist and warrior. The questions lies in why he cared so much? Did he want to win more than anything in the world or was he terrified of losing?

That's what losing sounds like...
The Great Billy Beane was quoted as saying that he hated losing more than he enjoyed winning. That sense of motivation built a fire in him that put him in a position to become the best paid in his profession. The true joy comes in winning and if you win only to keep from losing, you neglect your ability to celebrate.

To prepare and best an opponent seemingly stronger and more qualified than you is the ulitmate feeling of success. You don't prepare and try hard because you want to see the Giant cry. You win to prove to yourself that you can do anything and that nothing is impossible in this sad and beautiful world.

It's about freaking time!
Lebron James, the greatest basketball player of our time, has finally won a championship. Always big for his age and blessed with extraordinary athletic ability, Lebron James became a fan favorite by the time he finished high school.

Then something happened....

The expectation of greatness bestowed upon Lebron James did not manifest itself quickly enough. In this quick fix society, we want results....right away. So Lebron's love for Basketball turned into a job. He stopped running around with joy in his heart and started over-thinking the process of winning. He lost the joy and laced up the shoes with an assumed obligation to fulfill public expectations. When he hoisted the championship trophy on Thursday night, the thrill of being the best was replaced by the relief of achieving what everyone knew he was capable of.

...the real answer
My Dad once told me never to make a decision based on money. I replied that he had money. To which he retorted, "that's because I never made a decision based on money". My Dad knew what Tony Hsieh later explained:
If you lead with a purpose for which you have a passion, the profits will come naturally.

Think of it this way...
would you rather win a championship with your truest friends by your side or move across town just to play on a better team with a bunch of strangers?

Our motivation cannot be defined by what we think to be the right way, but by what we believe we were put on this earth to do.

Do you remember the show The Wonder Years? Kevin's dad would come home angry every day and proclaim "work is work". Do you ever feel like Kevin's dad? That the work you do is lacking purpose? That the passion is gone? That you are just in it for a paycheck?

It's not 1950 anymore! You are now more empowered as an employee than Kevin's dad ever was. In fact, you don't have to put up with losing anymore!

You are in control!

To put effort into something so as to avoid losing defeats the purpose of living. To win your way, by your rules, is the most empowering thing in life. If you allow others to make the rules, your chances of losing increase. To play another person's game and to win serves to validate your worth. Love is created by flipping the rules on their ear, finding a better way, and proving that it works better.

Your greatness is defined by the JOY you find in winning, not the relief of doing enough to keep from losing!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Sorry, I Love the Lakers

My father worked long, long hours. He was well into a day of work when I woke up for school and was not home when my head hit the pillow. His absence was nothing more than an affect of his commitment to give us a good life. The Caveat: His weekends were often used up entertaining clients...at a variety of sporting events...and he always took me along.

In 1984, When my father's hard work was recognized and he was promoted again...we moved to sunny Southern California...sun tanned girls, movie stars, The Olympics and....The Lakers! This took client entertainment and my dad's place on my hero list into a whole new universe. At this time, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, James Worthy, Michael Cooper, Kurt Rambus, Byron Scott and a few others were my heroes. My dad would talk business over a few beers and hand shakes. I would eat popcorn, would cheer in glory and would cry in defeat. These guys were the super heroes in the comic book that was my life. I was fiercely competitive, totally attached to The Lakers and willing to fight for my team.

These silly traits of a child who put figures on a court way up on a pedestal still exist today. I am 37 years old and when the Lakers play I shout at the TV, I ignore my children's request for more popcorn, I lean into shots (thinking I can influence their trajectory) and I tell my wife I will do anything she asks without really hearing the request. When the Lakers lose, I feel cheated...when they win, I feel validated. I wish I was more mature.

So last Thursday, as the Lakers shot 26% in the first half and looked totally disjointed, Courtney Cox and I grimaced. Alas, the outstanding play of an unlikely hero, Ron Artest, was the difference in another Championship. Getting past the dreaded Celtics...another Back to Back t-shirt printed.

As a Laker fan, I never cared about the Hollywood aspect of the fan base. I didn't get hung up on hating the Celtics either. I liked watching my team win and I hated seeing them lose. But really, I just enjoyed spending time with my Dad.

Some shots fall and others brick, fans misrepresent your team, fans of opposing teams talk too much and players leave town to play for their sworn enemies. As a child I got way to worked up over this 'game' and as a man I still do. What I can say, however, is that the Lakers are always on the court at their scheduled time. They dazzle with dribble, jump into celebrities laps, cheat on their wives and get jailed for using drugs. These are not the men raising my son, and it will be a long time before he understands the extended personalities of these 'basketball machines'. Now and until then, we'll watch our team lose and win and I will try (as my Dad did) to connect a lesson to each game.

I am sorry if the fans in Boston are heart broken and I wouldn't know Kate Hudson if she passed me on the street. But, that Back to Back shirt is going to go well with my son's Kobe model Nikes!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave