A Letter to my Son

Well Big Guy - you did it! You have graduated from Pre-school. I know the morning hours were rough at times and being away from mom and dad for full day can be challenging. You have preserved, juice box in hand, a little older and lot wiser. Your Mom, Sister, Pet Turtle and I are so very proud of you.

Now it's off to the big world of Kindergarten. You will make new friends and leave a few behind. It is sad to see those you came up with move on to other opportunities. The great thing about life, however, is that you are consistently afforded the opportunity to reinvent yourself. Knowing this, you can take every situation with your best intent in mind. Meaning, you can choose who to Love and who to disregard....I would encourage you to try to Love more people than you disregard.

You will fall in Love, have your heart broken, get in a fight or two, feel ashamed, & come to realize the thrill of victory.

It took me 30 years to find your Mother...I hope you will be so lucky to find your other half in this world. Just know that Love is a mutual journey. You cannot give without getting back...if you do, you have to reconsider your audience.

Stick up for yourself! I will drop everything and pick you up at the Principal's office if you have protected the honor that you and your friends have built. As a youngster, the way to win friends often means proving yourself. You may have to eat a worm or punch the biggest kid on the playground. Respect has to be earned.

You will let me down...I apologize in advance for expecting so much of you. You will surprise me...I apologize in advance for not having more faith in you.

Know this, the world is filled with infinite possibility. Nothing is too important but everything has its significance. Some days it rains, others the sun will shine upon you in all its glory. It's OK to cry, but laughter feels better. You can be anyone you will yourself to be.

Maybe some day you will read this and laugh at it. I hope you do.

Until then...allow no one to limit your potential, revel in the sun, and find someone to Love!

PS - always be nice to your Mom, Sister and Turtle. Save the frustration for me.

Congratulations! Here's to the next step in life!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dad

Take The Long Way Home

My Dad's colleague once told me that he was a great leader because he had the ability to determine the outcome of any professional situation before he engaged in it. He did this by researching the people involved and the dynamics of the dispute. So, when you were called into his office to explain your side of the story, he already knew your side of the story....and if you were not forthcoming...you were toast!

My Dad's professional command of conflict negotiation was mastered on me. He would wake up early, read the newspaper, and engage me in conversation as I rolled out of bed on a Saturday morning. He would ask me the particulars of the Laker game the night before, I would retort with my unadulterated emotion, and he would subtly work the facts into the conversation to trump my emotion. I would blame the loss on Kareem Abdul Jabbar not getting back to play defense. He would recite Kareem's triple double statistics and ask me to reconsider my position. Knowing he was right, I would storm off to the kitchen to check the box scores over my fruity pebbles.

Another habit of efficiency that my father had was timing car rides from point A to point B. We're heading the the Forum which way do you want to go....I would choose, he would take the alternate route home, and explain to me why it was more efficient.

Last week, I authored a piece explaining my disproving of proof driven motivation. Now you understand why.

At some point, I discovered that the quickest route home was not always the most pleasing. I can get to Disneyland much faster by taking the 5 freeway but the Highway 1 is so much more beautiful. My mind dances on Highway 1 making the drive more enjoyable. On the 5...I grip the steering wheel and speed ahead the next semi in my way to my destination...not enjoyable!

As our Saturday morning debates continued, I picked up the album "Breakfast in America" by Supertramp. "the Tramp" was awesome. Their lead singer had this incredible beard, he sang into a huge foam microphone, he played great keyboard leads, and they had a saxophone player. All the facts in the world cannot rival the magic of beards, keyboards, and sax solos!

The Tramp had a song called "take the long way home" that endeared me. The thought was presented to me that efficiency might not be as enjoyable as adventure. Bliss! To know that all that had proven me wrong wasn't necessarily right. That you could stop and smell the roses, the joy was in the journey, you can take the long way home!

Time has passed and the debates my Father and I have are now moderated by my Brother-in-law and his I-phone. Damn you Steve Jobs!!!! I learned to be prepared through my interactions with my Dad. His fucking with me an encapsulated the lesson of how to better relate to people. He was right as usual!

I have, however, not lost my ability to see the forest through the trees. I still refute the statistical evidence that the fantasy football geeks claim win/lose the game. There is no box score for diving for a loose ball.

The numbers don't lie but they don't tell the whole story!

As I amble down Highway 1 in route to Disneyland blasting Supertramp, my wife and kids asleep, I have 2 thoughts on my mind:
1. Life is too short to validate our every action
2. Resistance is usually the result of neglected facts

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

3 Lessons from Kid To Work Day

Yesterday was national 'take your kid to work day'. One of my favorite days of the year. This day is typically an opportunity for in-office staff to bring their child into their office environment to show them what Mom/Dad do for a living. A quick office tour then it's off to the copy room for arts and crafts supplies.

Like every thing else in my life, my 'kid to work day' is far from typical. This year my five year old and I traveled into San Francisco and through the Silicon Valley to visit some of Michael C Fina's customers. Up early, dressed sharp, and on the move. Not typical for a kid who is used to spending the morning with cartoons and toast before a day of well facilitated learning.

If I were to give him a performance review (which will never happen) my son would definitely have received 5's across the board. We logged several miles, dodged in and out of parking garage's, ate lunch in the car and he even sat in on a few conference calls. He didn't complain once!

On our long drive home I reflected on how proud I was of my son. A simple question came to mind:
If He Can Do It Why Can't We?

Kid to Work Day is a blast because it helps the little people understand a few elements of the Big World of Business. On this particular day it also helped me reflect on how childish we can be in our professional behavior.

I have 3 tips learned from my 'ride-along' with the Great Sam Kovacovich:
1. Keep it Simple
2. Don't Throw a Fit
3. Have Fun!

Intricacies Revealed
As Consultants,we are called upon to be 'experts' on several different product lines. We tend to forget that product knowledge is far less important than the solution we can create for a genuine need. Far too often we drone on and on about product capabilities without discerning their applicable nature to our customer's organizational culture.

People hate Salespeople because we are notoriously self-centered. Ask a simple yes/no question and get a diatribe about the product itself that provides no insight to the original inquiry.

Ask a simple question, get an insignificant answer, and spend the rest of the meeting staring out the window....not gonna work with this guy, he has no interest in our needs.

Sales Advice to Live By:
Listen More than You Talk
Speak the Customer's Language
Keep it Simple (answer yes or no)

There is a Capital I in Insecurity
I receive endless communication from people expressing their discontent for being under-valued. No one wants to spend time contributing without being recognized for their effort. But, some times you have to consider the situation.

Consider the following:
~ Sometimes people get busy and forget to say thanks
~ Our ego sometimes emphasizes detail over the ultimate goal
~ You are not 5, don't document yourself in such a light

FUN!
I'm pretty hard core, I believe in winning, but my career didn't evolve until I learned to ignore certain things. Nothing within the detail of any given work day is so vitally important that you have to work yourself into a frenzy. In fact, most of our meltdowns are a result of fretting over the 'little things'.

We want to be validated and feel that we are contributing. We want to make a difference. When we bust our butt for 50 hours on a project, we don't want our work scrutinized. This is the part of the movie where we discover that life isn't fair! You are not in control of the reactions of others, you are in control of your own! You have to learn to ignore what you cannot control and set your own standards.

A bowl of ice cream for Sam and a beer for Dad was a great way to celebrate our productive day!

As we grow older we tend to complicate the process. We try harder when we should let things go. We assert ourselves when our point has already been made. We attempt to impress the unimpressible.

When I was a boy I thought my Dad walked on water for a living. I am so grateful to have an opportunity to show my son that I do not...and that is OK!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave