Showing posts with label Insecurity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Insecurity. Show all posts

Friday, April 29, 2011

3 Lessons from Kid To Work Day

Yesterday was national 'take your kid to work day'. One of my favorite days of the year. This day is typically an opportunity for in-office staff to bring their child into their office environment to show them what Mom/Dad do for a living. A quick office tour then it's off to the copy room for arts and crafts supplies.

Like every thing else in my life, my 'kid to work day' is far from typical. This year my five year old and I traveled into San Francisco and through the Silicon Valley to visit some of Michael C Fina's customers. Up early, dressed sharp, and on the move. Not typical for a kid who is used to spending the morning with cartoons and toast before a day of well facilitated learning.

If I were to give him a performance review (which will never happen) my son would definitely have received 5's across the board. We logged several miles, dodged in and out of parking garage's, ate lunch in the car and he even sat in on a few conference calls. He didn't complain once!

On our long drive home I reflected on how proud I was of my son. A simple question came to mind:
If He Can Do It Why Can't We?

Kid to Work Day is a blast because it helps the little people understand a few elements of the Big World of Business. On this particular day it also helped me reflect on how childish we can be in our professional behavior.

I have 3 tips learned from my 'ride-along' with the Great Sam Kovacovich:
1. Keep it Simple
2. Don't Throw a Fit
3. Have Fun!


Intricacies Revealed
As Consultants,we are called upon to be 'experts' on several different product lines. We tend to forget that product knowledge is far less important than the solution we can create for a genuine need. Far too often we drone on and on about product capabilities without discerning their applicable nature to our customer's organizational culture.

People hate Salespeople because we are notoriously self-centered. Ask a simple yes/no question and get a diatribe about the product itself that provides no insight to the original inquiry.

Ask a simple question, get an insignificant answer, and spend the rest of the meeting staring out the window....not gonna work with this guy, he has no interest in our needs.

Sales Advice to Live By:
Listen More than You Talk
Speak the Customer's Language
Keep it Simple (answer yes or no)


There is a Capital I in Insecurity
I receive endless communication from people expressing their discontent for being under-valued. No one wants to spend time contributing without being recognized for their effort. But, some times you have to consider the situation.

Consider the following:
~ Sometimes people get busy and forget to say thanks
~ Our ego sometimes emphasizes detail over the ultimate goal
~ You are not 5, don't document yourself in such a light


FUN!
I'm pretty hard core, I believe in winning, but my career didn't evolve until I learned to ignore certain things. Nothing within the detail of any given work day is so vitally important that you have to work yourself into a frenzy. In fact, most of our meltdowns are a result of fretting over the 'little things'.

We want to be validated and feel that we are contributing. We want to make a difference. When we bust our butt for 50 hours on a project, we don't want our work scrutinized. This is the part of the movie where we discover that life isn't fair! You are not in control of the reactions of others, you are in control of your own! You have to learn to ignore what you cannot control and set your own standards.

A bowl of ice cream for Sam and a beer for Dad was a great way to celebrate our productive day!

As we grow older we tend to complicate the process. We try harder when we should let things go. We assert ourselves when our point has already been made. We attempt to impress the unimpressible.

When I was a boy I thought my Dad walked on water for a living. I am so grateful to have an opportunity to show my son that I do not...and that is OK!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

3 Trends to Sunset in 2011

The great Paul Hebert wrote a piece for Fistful of Talent that touched on the metric validation most organizations seem to seek in programming. His point was not lost on me. I have seen an influx of organizations seeking buzz words and statistical proof to frame new directives. Paul's extended point being that there is not a score that can address the level of engagement in a corporate culture and that there is no 'end game' in assessing Employee Engagement.

Too often organizations seek statistics to validate employee's shelf life or pull in a 'vendor' to formulate a program upon whom to blame failed engagement. Is there a less flattering term than 'vendor'?

Great companies love their people, unconditionally, every day. Great companies find an honest approach to forming business partnerships and honor their 'vendors' in the same respect that they do their employees. Organizational culture starts with an Executive vision, extends through your Linchpin employees and further to the fantastic professionals that represent you as business partners (not vendors).

We have lost our ability to cultivate and grow unique and meaningful human motivation. We have taken the people out of the equation and made it about numbers....shame on us.

In furtherance to Paul Hebert's blog post and the great minds of Keith Ferrazzi, Tony Hsieh, Seth Godin, Chris Guillebeau and Dan Pink....I am going to issue a challenge to the world:
Stop looking for statistics to marginalize thought leadership (or lack there of)
Stop looking for the next catch phrase to fuel white paper and webinar dribble


There are 3 trends that I would like to see sunset in 2011:
Generational Generalization
The request for ROI
Transparent Insecurity


X, Y, Boomer
The Millennials are taking over the workplace, the Baby Boomers are retiring. We get it: different generations have different forms of education, training and resource access. Regardless of our date of birth, We are not babies. Quit trying to simplify the organizational vision 'in terms we can understand'.

How do you think your Gen Y employees feel when you publish marketing materials that categorize them as complacent?
How do you think Baby Boomers feel when you invalidate their existence?

Here's the big picture: There are 90 year old people who are wizards on an I-pad and 22 year old people that do not use Facebook.

When a 'new' worker comes into a company an elder statesman or woman pulls him/her aside and tells them 'how it is around here'. The 'new' person dismisses the elder statesman or woman as insecure and shoots for their sales record. At a certain point the 'new' person begins to assert themselves and the elder statesman or woman dismisses them as a loud mouth without a proven track record. It's exhausting...and there in lies my point!

Return Our Investment
ROI is the talk of the town. Show me the money. Show me how my competitors have used your services and how they have profited accordingly. I want a formula to show to my boss to defend my decision in case the 'vendor' turns out to be bad at what they do.

Are we not beyond the point of needing a reciept to validate our decisions? Can we not watch 3 acts on American Idol and decide whose record we would buy? Can we not judge human character rather than crunching numbers.....?

Trust Fuels Partnerships!

The request for an ROI formula enhances BS, it does not dissolve it!

A diatribe in Defense of what I'm about to say....
Test your client's company culture. Make an inquiry. If you get a 2 paragraph diatribe...the culture is broken.

The 'struggling economy' (another tired term) has prompted Managers to beat their employees into submission. It is no longer OK to say, 'I screwed up'. You have to explain every detail of the thought process and every other person who touched the product....Micro-Management driven by negative consequence creates a culture of fear and paranoia. Motivation is replaced by indecision, blame passing and the unexplainable need to explain one's every action. Employees are forced to beg forgiveness before they act....It's Exhausting and there in continues my point!

We Have To Get Better!

4 wishes for 2011:
1. Dissolve catch phrases that marginalize our behavior
2. Stop simplifying employees existence by categorizing by generation
3. ROI formulas are BS...build trusting relationships instead
4. Dispel transparent insecurity by trusting your employees to make decisions


Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Monday, September 13, 2010

In Security


Do you ever meet people who feel they have to frame everything they are about to say? Do you ever tell someone Thank You and detect that they wonder what you want in return? Have you met that person that is always on the defensive?

Our insecurities in the way we carry ourselves are a result of the culture in which we allow ourselves to exist. We become a product of our environment. So, if we are consistently disparaged by our boss, and are used to building a case for our actions, that tends to spill over into our social interactions.

Do you think by saying, 'don't take this the wrong way', that I am going to take it any way other than the wrong way?

Do you think that by complimenting me before you insult me I will be less insulted?


If you work in an environment where defending your work before you even perform it is a way of life you are going to project similar behavior as soon as you get a chance. So after I had my stones busted for 2 years, I get a promotion, and the first thing I do is find someone to insult.

If you are seasoned professional and you act in the aforementioned line of motivation you need to take a hard look in the mirror. One thing to consider is that one day you will die and to work back from there. In essence, there has to be an understanding of what is genuinely important...the ultimate truth, it's according actions and a line one allows not thyself to cross.

What if it is as simple as saying Thank You when someone assists you and accepting Thanks when it is given. If you compliment someone with the other hand extended, it probably doesn't have the intended effect. If someone tells you that you did a great job tell them they are welcome.

If you work hard and stick to your Genuine Intent you need not promote yourself otherwise. Pre and Post game interviews are not necessary...we saw the game. You need not read reviews of a movie, go see it and decide for yourself if you enjoyed it. Don't tell me I did a great job if I didn't. Don't look for compliments when you do a job well, know for yourself that you performed to YOUR expectations.

It is time to build a concise and strategic plan for personal development, to work hard and to own the results.

Do your fighting in the ring and save your breath for kissing the girl!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Girl at the Coffee Shop


I looked out the window of the coffee shop yesterday to see a young lady consumed in thought. She was chewing her nail, tapping her foot and seemingly deeply concerned about something. I wonder what was troubling her?

All of us at a certain point in our lives will learn to stop worrying and start living. The point at which we realize what is important and to dedicate our energy accordingly.

If I could have given the young lady advice I would have said:
Prepare
Accept that which You Cannot Change
Concentrate on the Positive
Find Your Place


Read
I used to fly into meetings with the same pitch: This is what our company does, we're the best at it, buy our stuff. What a waste of time. My arrogance was transparent, my lack of interest in solution based design a real turn off.

People are always impressed when you have done your research on them. More than their company or industry, if you can site an excerpt from a blog or white paper, your vested interest will endear you on a personal level.

Re-direct
We are constantly inundated with minutia. Detail upon detail insignificant to our grand plan...and yet we let these little things overwhelm us. Replace the happiness of a big win with the frustration of a late invoice.

Ask yourself - will someone die if this doesn't get done. If the answer is 'no' give it only the priority it deserves.

Stay Positive
Do you have that friend who is an arrogant jerk? He is that way because he is poor communicator. His inability to express himself has failed to endear him to others and as a result he has failed to succeed on any level. He projects the frustration of his inability and unwillingness to be better on everyone but himself.

Make no mistake about it...anyone can be a jerk. If you are a person of action, remaining positive is the most difficult thing there is, but that doesn't give you an excuse to give up. If every day is not a monumental personal challenge then you are not growing as a person.

Be You
The best way to turn people off is by acting out of character. If you are pretending to be someone you are not, you are not fooling anyone. The people you think you are impressing by promoting your every action see right through you.

Give your audience a little credit, be you and endear yourself to them.

When I looked out the coffee shop window again the girl was gone. Off into her worry to run in circles of wasted effort...to let indecision run her mind in circles. I hope over time she learns the simple lessons we have discussed today. Until then..

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Fourth Rule of Awesomeness

I DON'T CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK!
- if you hear this terminology muttered...guess what....this person CARES what other people think - A LOT!

We are all insecure, we all want to be recognized, we all want our existence validated! Unfortunately, the knowledge of our deep dark secrets seems to have become the fuel for business management.


We can grit our teeth, pound our fist and yell at each other; but these seaming acts of aggressiveness are nothing more than the clinging to the want to be wanted.

You see Salespeople presenting a solution in front of a room of 12 senior executives and you say...I wish I had that type of confidence....guess what? Salespeople are of the most insecure people in any workforce.

Your Manager gives a state of the union address at a company function and you say....wow she is really on the ball.....guess what? She talks to herself in the mirror! What a weirdo!

I don't understand why vulnerability cannot be a business strategy. Why we have to put on a suit to express credibility. Why we need to convey professionalism based on the regurgitation of a podcast. Why can't our ideas be our own. Why do we try to be someone we are not to impress others. Why we cannot just admit that we want to be happy...???!

Kovacovich's Hierarchy of Needs:
* Job
* Money
* Music
* Sports
* Beer
* Professional Purpose
* LOVE

We have been humbled in these times of professional struggle....AND IT'S A GOOD THING! We have learned to take delight in the little things, to quit trying to keep up with the Jones' and to endure...this too shall pass.

Smile, Speak Honestly and Allow You to be You as the only grounds by which you should be held to validate your existence!


Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave


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