Take The Long Way Home

My Dad's colleague once told me that he was a great leader because he had the ability to determine the outcome of any professional situation before he engaged in it. He did this by researching the people involved and the dynamics of the dispute. So, when you were called into his office to explain your side of the story, he already knew your side of the story....and if you were not forthcoming...you were toast!

My Dad's professional command of conflict negotiation was mastered on me. He would wake up early, read the newspaper, and engage me in conversation as I rolled out of bed on a Saturday morning. He would ask me the particulars of the Laker game the night before, I would retort with my unadulterated emotion, and he would subtly work the facts into the conversation to trump my emotion. I would blame the loss on Kareem Abdul Jabbar not getting back to play defense. He would recite Kareem's triple double statistics and ask me to reconsider my position. Knowing he was right, I would storm off to the kitchen to check the box scores over my fruity pebbles.

Another habit of efficiency that my father had was timing car rides from point A to point B. We're heading the the Forum which way do you want to go....I would choose, he would take the alternate route home, and explain to me why it was more efficient.

Last week, I authored a piece explaining my disproving of proof driven motivation. Now you understand why.

At some point, I discovered that the quickest route home was not always the most pleasing. I can get to Disneyland much faster by taking the 5 freeway but the Highway 1 is so much more beautiful. My mind dances on Highway 1 making the drive more enjoyable. On the 5...I grip the steering wheel and speed ahead the next semi in my way to my destination...not enjoyable!

As our Saturday morning debates continued, I picked up the album "Breakfast in America" by Supertramp. "the Tramp" was awesome. Their lead singer had this incredible beard, he sang into a huge foam microphone, he played great keyboard leads, and they had a saxophone player. All the facts in the world cannot rival the magic of beards, keyboards, and sax solos!

The Tramp had a song called "take the long way home" that endeared me. The thought was presented to me that efficiency might not be as enjoyable as adventure. Bliss! To know that all that had proven me wrong wasn't necessarily right. That you could stop and smell the roses, the joy was in the journey, you can take the long way home!

Time has passed and the debates my Father and I have are now moderated by my Brother-in-law and his I-phone. Damn you Steve Jobs!!!! I learned to be prepared through my interactions with my Dad. His fucking with me an encapsulated the lesson of how to better relate to people. He was right as usual!

I have, however, not lost my ability to see the forest through the trees. I still refute the statistical evidence that the fantasy football geeks claim win/lose the game. There is no box score for diving for a loose ball.

The numbers don't lie but they don't tell the whole story!

As I amble down Highway 1 in route to Disneyland blasting Supertramp, my wife and kids asleep, I have 2 thoughts on my mind:
1. Life is too short to validate our every action
2. Resistance is usually the result of neglected facts

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Sorry, I Love the Lakers

My father worked long, long hours. He was well into a day of work when I woke up for school and was not home when my head hit the pillow. His absence was nothing more than an affect of his commitment to give us a good life. The Caveat: His weekends were often used up entertaining clients...at a variety of sporting events...and he always took me along.

In 1984, When my father's hard work was recognized and he was promoted again...we moved to sunny Southern California...sun tanned girls, movie stars, The Olympics and....The Lakers! This took client entertainment and my dad's place on my hero list into a whole new universe. At this time, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, James Worthy, Michael Cooper, Kurt Rambus, Byron Scott and a few others were my heroes. My dad would talk business over a few beers and hand shakes. I would eat popcorn, would cheer in glory and would cry in defeat. These guys were the super heroes in the comic book that was my life. I was fiercely competitive, totally attached to The Lakers and willing to fight for my team.

These silly traits of a child who put figures on a court way up on a pedestal still exist today. I am 37 years old and when the Lakers play I shout at the TV, I ignore my children's request for more popcorn, I lean into shots (thinking I can influence their trajectory) and I tell my wife I will do anything she asks without really hearing the request. When the Lakers lose, I feel cheated...when they win, I feel validated. I wish I was more mature.

So last Thursday, as the Lakers shot 26% in the first half and looked totally disjointed, Courtney Cox and I grimaced. Alas, the outstanding play of an unlikely hero, Ron Artest, was the difference in another Championship. Getting past the dreaded Celtics...another Back to Back t-shirt printed.

As a Laker fan, I never cared about the Hollywood aspect of the fan base. I didn't get hung up on hating the Celtics either. I liked watching my team win and I hated seeing them lose. But really, I just enjoyed spending time with my Dad.

Some shots fall and others brick, fans misrepresent your team, fans of opposing teams talk too much and players leave town to play for their sworn enemies. As a child I got way to worked up over this 'game' and as a man I still do. What I can say, however, is that the Lakers are always on the court at their scheduled time. They dazzle with dribble, jump into celebrities laps, cheat on their wives and get jailed for using drugs. These are not the men raising my son, and it will be a long time before he understands the extended personalities of these 'basketball machines'. Now and until then, we'll watch our team lose and win and I will try (as my Dad did) to connect a lesson to each game.

I am sorry if the fans in Boston are heart broken and I wouldn't know Kate Hudson if she passed me on the street. But, that Back to Back shirt is going to go well with my son's Kobe model Nikes!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave