Take The Long Way Home

My Dad's colleague once told me that he was a great leader because he had the ability to determine the outcome of any professional situation before he engaged in it. He did this by researching the people involved and the dynamics of the dispute. So, when you were called into his office to explain your side of the story, he already knew your side of the story....and if you were not forthcoming...you were toast!

My Dad's professional command of conflict negotiation was mastered on me. He would wake up early, read the newspaper, and engage me in conversation as I rolled out of bed on a Saturday morning. He would ask me the particulars of the Laker game the night before, I would retort with my unadulterated emotion, and he would subtly work the facts into the conversation to trump my emotion. I would blame the loss on Kareem Abdul Jabbar not getting back to play defense. He would recite Kareem's triple double statistics and ask me to reconsider my position. Knowing he was right, I would storm off to the kitchen to check the box scores over my fruity pebbles.

Another habit of efficiency that my father had was timing car rides from point A to point B. We're heading the the Forum which way do you want to go....I would choose, he would take the alternate route home, and explain to me why it was more efficient.

Last week, I authored a piece explaining my disproving of proof driven motivation. Now you understand why.

At some point, I discovered that the quickest route home was not always the most pleasing. I can get to Disneyland much faster by taking the 5 freeway but the Highway 1 is so much more beautiful. My mind dances on Highway 1 making the drive more enjoyable. On the 5...I grip the steering wheel and speed ahead the next semi in my way to my destination...not enjoyable!

As our Saturday morning debates continued, I picked up the album "Breakfast in America" by Supertramp. "the Tramp" was awesome. Their lead singer had this incredible beard, he sang into a huge foam microphone, he played great keyboard leads, and they had a saxophone player. All the facts in the world cannot rival the magic of beards, keyboards, and sax solos!

The Tramp had a song called "take the long way home" that endeared me. The thought was presented to me that efficiency might not be as enjoyable as adventure. Bliss! To know that all that had proven me wrong wasn't necessarily right. That you could stop and smell the roses, the joy was in the journey, you can take the long way home!

Time has passed and the debates my Father and I have are now moderated by my Brother-in-law and his I-phone. Damn you Steve Jobs!!!! I learned to be prepared through my interactions with my Dad. His fucking with me an encapsulated the lesson of how to better relate to people. He was right as usual!

I have, however, not lost my ability to see the forest through the trees. I still refute the statistical evidence that the fantasy football geeks claim win/lose the game. There is no box score for diving for a loose ball.

The numbers don't lie but they don't tell the whole story!

As I amble down Highway 1 in route to Disneyland blasting Supertramp, my wife and kids asleep, I have 2 thoughts on my mind:
1. Life is too short to validate our every action
2. Resistance is usually the result of neglected facts

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

2010 - Lessons Learned

There are two work weeks left in 2010. It has been a year of success, failure, and lessons learned in the process. I progress in strange ways...I have an inability to accept criticism or praise. I tend to disagree when people tell me where I'm falling short (it's just an opinion) or look for ulterior motives in praise (and try harder). These, among a thousand other character flaws, are things I've sought to improve in 2010.

I am a person of extreme self-confidence, driven by an intense competitive drive. This produces a determination to out-work, out-think and counter-point my constituents. It's also a terrible way to live....with each year I get a little less hell bent on winning and a little more focused on helping others. It will never be ideal, but I'm trying.

So as this year comes to a close I want to share 3 great Epiphanies that struck me while looking back on my success and failures:
Sports are still The Great Life Metaphor
One must learn to Channel their Determination with Elegance
Find YOUR Faith

Conditioning
I was really excited to see the life story of the Great Vince Lombardi played on HBO this weekend. An extraordinary story of a man with all the determination in the world. Coach Lombardi reminds me of my Dad: hard working, unknowing of complaints, and unemotional on the surface level. When I was young I would occasionally be awaken by my Dad's electric razor in the dead of morning...still dark outside, cold. I would sometimes walk into the bathroom in my Hulk pajamas and watch him tie his tie with all the honor of a World Leader. I didn't know much about his job but I was proud of him and I knew I wanted to be like him one day. Those were different times...

Like my Dad, Coach Lombardi was a man of pride by the virtue of his work. He spent the first 2 weeks of practice completely on conditioning. He worked his team to the breaking point and the survivors became his core contributors. This was a time when complaints were not an option, working hard was the only way and people appreciated their opportunities. Times have changed....I'll be the first to admit I can be a wuss at times (another one of my flaws). In 2010, I have come to remember that the emotions only surface when you haven't worked hard enough. In 2011, I promise to work harder, to blame no one and to keep my emotions to myself!

Presentation
At some point in my life, I became aware of how others were perceiving me and I didn't like the image presented. It is very difficult to be elegant when you are on the track of working harder than everyone else. I recognized that I was being insensitive and that I was not entitled to act in such a manner. If you are more talented you will win more. If you work hard you will out-condition your opponent. To be better doesn't give you the right to disparage others.

I have discouraged the touchdown dance though I have been guilty of it in the past. It is a release of insecurity. If you truly have talent you can replicate any feat....you simply live success. It has been a continued struggle to go into every day with the intent of winning and not running over everyone. In 2011, I will develop the ability to win gracefully!

Form
I am a strong proponent of No Religion, No Politics. Both topics appall me. But, I cannot deny that faith in something is essential to personal development. To have a belief in a higher power is paramount. Faith and Spirituality are 10 times more special and meaningful when you keep them to yourself. In 2011, I will continue to evolve my spirit (alone)!

Goals for 2011
1. Work harder than ever
2. Keep my emotions (and faith) to myself
3. Be Humble in victory and accountable in defeat

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave