Your Hiring Process Sucks!

A friend of mine recently won the lottery. Well not exactly, but let's just say he lucked-in to a family fortune that put him in a position to never have to work again. He thought about working at the local hardware store, but while the concept seemed compelling, the reality was a bigger headache than staying in corporate america.

He hated his current boss so he quit his high-paying Enterprise sales position. The world was his oyster, he wanted to stay busy, so he figured he'd venture into the world of start up tech.

Pretense: This gentleman had 20 years of sales experience, made Chairman's Club a remarkable 17 times, had worked for just 2 companies over 20 years and knew his marketplace inside out.

So began his experiment of Diving Back In......

Step One: For the first time in 10 years he re-tooled his resume. Unsure if people even read them anymore....?

Step Two: He agreed to work with a sales staffing firm (so his nephew would make $500 when he got hired).

Step Three: He met with one person from his network every day. He knew Senior Vice Presidents from Oracle, Google, Microsoft, Salesforce.com, Workday.... all of which offered him a job on the spot, none of which he entertained.

He was about to delve into something far more entertaining.

To his Nephew's credit, he booked him 3 initial interviews within the first week of having his resume on the market.

The hiring process went like this.....

Step One: Fresh-out-of-Jr-College admin calls to read you back your resume and ask questions like:
- What intrigues you about shit.com?
- Why did you leave your former employer?
- Why didn't you list your percentage to quota by quarter on your resume?
- Why do you not have a Facebook profile?
- What's your greatest strength?
- What's your greatest weakness?

Step Two: Talks to a Sr. Sourcer to answer the same questions.

Step Three: Re-Align with Nephew to understand that they "really like your experience" but if you wish to continue in the process you'll need to do the following:
1. Adjust resume to document quarterly quota achievement.
2. Watch 17 Vimeo videos to understand CEO's vision.
3. Write a blog .... on anything really, you just need to improve your KLOUT rating.
4. Provide 3 professional references.

Now he's in the game.... he actually gets to talk to a Sales Manager.

Douchebag Manager: Before we start, why didn't you document your percentage to plan by quarter?

DBM continues.... because your a friend of Jake's (obligatory nephew name), we're willing to chat you up, but your gonna have to bring your A Game.... Bro!

Step Four: You are invited to a Night Club to "display your social skills".

Step Five: You are brought in to give a "preso" on your go-to-market strategy.

Step Six: You get not a callback, an email or tweet regarding next steps in the process.

... the process just ends. No one is the wiser and Shit.com goes about their business.

Step Seven: You buy out 51% controlling interest in Shit.com for $750k and fire everyone!

* The above is based on a true story, names have been changed to protect the ignorant. My friend liquidated the company as a tax write off, douche bag went back to this high school job at the local hardware store and approximately $40K in office "equipment" was donated to volunteers of america.

Unfortunately, many will be facing this process (without lottery winnings in pocket) over the next 20 years.

What's more disappointing is the fact that many companies continue to devalue the hiring process.

The most outstanding candidates are not begging for employment. If you wish to enchant outstanding talent, stop engaging them as if they were auditioning for the Mickey Mouse club!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

A Ripple Becomes a Whirlpool

Over the past few weeks we have unveiled 4 parts of the Human Development strategy know as Don't Forget to Remember:

Part One: Foundation
Part Two: Deconstruction
Part Three: Re-Composition
Part Four: Unzip Your Soul

... Today we will tie this strategy together.

On May 11th of 2009, I wrote my first blog post thanks to the advising of my friend Darwin Stephenson. I remember hitting "publish", seeing my words on the lap top screen and feeling slightly guilty that I was allowed to share my unedited opinion with the world. I have since published 485 posts on a variety of topics. I've been on a few list of outstanding bloggers but I don't attempt to bring traffic for the purpose of selling anything.

The world is full of hacks and the blogosphere is one of their favorite rest stops. I just enjoy writing about the life I live. I hope my 10 loyal readers have derived some benefit from the grammatically challenged words I've written.

If nothing else, my kids will have a 10 year public journal to reference. I love you Sam & Marley!

I know what it is like to be young and frustrated. I know what it is like to work for people who do not appreciate their employees. I've had so many trials and tribulations in my 20 years in corporate America.... then one day, I decided to do something about it.

For the first 10 years of my career I complained with the enthusiasm of 1,000 men. I loved the company I worked for, I worked 12 hour days and I never stopped thinking about how to improve the organization. But, I couldn't get out of my own way.

When I was at a crossroads in my career there were a few people who were perceptive enough to recognize my motivation.... there were far more people who lined up to tell me what I was doing wrong.

At the peak of my personal and professional frustration, I listened to the album A Grand Don't Come for Free by The Streets. The album concludes with a song called Empty Cans. In this final chapter of the greatest concept album of our time, our narrator plays pessimist and provocateur in two separate breaths. The conclusion.....

YOU control your perception and attitude.... this is determinant of frustration vs. bliss.

Your Fate is Yours to Decide

I stopped blaming other people for my failures, I stopped worrying about being over-looked and I came to realize that life can be unfair (and that's what makes it worth living). The edges got softer and I took control of my success!

People are criticized for their ambition every day... mostly by people who's inability to adapt forces them to halt progress to protect their post.

With success comes comfort. You finally get to breath when you have achieved. It is extremely difficult to get to this stage in one's career. When you get there.... don't allow yourself to get too comfortable.

There are people with extraordinary ideas who will never get recognized for them.

There are idiots who are propped up as leaders through bureaucracy and politics. Don't kiss their asses!

The only measure of success is how true you are to yourself!

1. Remember what you are good at!
2. Challenge the norm!
3. Recreate a self-motivation within a manageable system!
4. Be Kind in the process......!

This is, the all-encompassing process of.....

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave    

Chasing Empathy

...If people are exceptionally annoying then giving them the benefit of the doubt may be our life's greatest challenge... 

I once heard a CEO speak of how he was certain he could change the world if it weren't for the people in it. You may recall Daniel Plainview repulsed by the people in his business dealings to the point of murder. Steve Jobs himself was always up-in-arms by human beings inability to engage in forward thinking. 

Let's face it... People are annoying. Unfortunately, they aren't going anywhere. 

If you are unwilling to interact with your fellow man/woman you will starve, your roof will cave in and your car will stop running. People need people to survive.... in order to thrive you'll need to get good at dealing with the human condition. 

When we learn to forgive one another's short comings... when we learn to accept that we are all imperfect... when we learn to collaborate...

We Start Moving Forward!

Surround Yourself With People Who Are Smarter Than You
It's easy to dazzle the less-motivated with a critical perspective. You will always find yourself enabled by the less-gifted, hang out with them long enough and you will sink to their level.

You should acquaint yourself with people who challenge you to think differently, try harder and to stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Have A Sense of Humor
When you allow yourself to be offended, you play into your critics plan to derail your progress. If you are brave enough to participate, you subject yourself to criticism.... Better grow some thick skin.

In all moments of adversity it is easy to get yourself so wrapped up in worry that you shut down completely. When you learn to chuckle at your short comings, you learn to move past them!

It's easy if you try!

Be A Person of Trust
Ever notice that you are the last person to find things out? Is that because no one feels comfortable revealing their personal hurdles to you?

Be a good listener. Confirm more than you judge. Remind people what they do well. Help people get out of their own way.

At the very least.... tell a friend it's going to be OK.... even if it's not!

I don't have to remind you that it is easier to stand on the sidelines with arms folded than it is to participate in the game.

Be a Creator not a Destroyer!

Don't Forget to Remember,

Dave