The Underdog

My friend Charlie has donated some fantastic knowledge to the blogosphere as of late. I share his sentiment that the best professionals share a distinct common characteristic:

The Underdog Mentality

People who are great at what they do listen to every criticism and compliment. While we would like to tell ourselves the insults do not effect us, they do. While we would like to say we don't need recognition, we do. If success is in your DNA you work hard, have an inherent ability to learn from your mistakes and put your victories in a very small corner of your mental trophy case.

Doubt is Fuel
My dad hired thousands of people. The proudest professional achievements of his 50+ year career are supplanted in the times when he took a chance on the less-obvious choice. He will admit that those who were under-qualified were more motivated and possessed a greater sense of hubris. Which is why they exceeded expectations without entitlement.

If you are smart and you work hard at some point some one will give you a shot... then it's your turn to score!

An Inability To Stop Caring
The strange thing about possessing underdog mentality is that the input of the less-talented still gets under your skin. No matter the intent or credential... you take opposing viewpoints to heart and grow from them.

The underdog also has the ability to recognize other underdogs and as they hit their stride they will invite strays into the pack.

Act Like You've Been Here Before
Most people hire the candidate who is more qualified on paper. That way, if your hire fails, you can cover your ass....!

The moment you begin to settle, you lose the underdog mentality. Experts are often wrong, the safe choice is never the right choice and predictability is the kiss of death.

I have won more than I have lost in my life. I've earned every victory and I was seldom the favorite in any fight. I am very proud of that. I'd like to think that each time I defied the odds, I disqualified my opponent from a life of presumption.... and helped them rediscover their underdog mentality!

"Your playing small does not serve the world...There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you" - Marianne Williamson

"You've got no fear of the underdog that's why you will not survive" - Britt Daniel

"Be Humble in Victory and Accountable in Defeat" - Me

There is someone out there who cannot live without you. Don't compromise until you find them.

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

More Bad Advice

I had recently told a group of students that validation in life is not always vocalized so one cannot wait for applause. It seems those at the beginning and end of their careers might need confirmation of effort more than others. One will ponder if they are aligning themselves with the right people, if they are displaying their commitment through sacrifice and/or if their effort has been validated with results.

A person who I looked up to once gave 3 points of advice for career advancement:
1. Always Hit Your Number
2. Be Willing To Relocate
3. Align Yourself With People (who are climbing the ladder)

I'm here to tell you why the aforementioned 3 points are the WORST advice I have ever received!

Numbers Lie!
Any sales organization will tell you to call the #1 Sales Person to get advice on how to get to where he/she might be. Terrible Advice!

Top sales people are extremely busy, totally focused on their personal goals and unable to articulate the front end precision of the sales trade.

No matter what you do in life, hitting your number is the expectation. There will never be a time when you raise your hand to offer an idea that will not be dove tailed by a survey of where you are on the ranking report. The best sales people I know have never been the #1 sales rep in their organization...some of the worst people I know... have!

The best in any profession are those who you remember after one conversation (in a good way). They have an ability to convey their investment without knowing a ton about you. Unfortunately, most people are faking it.... which is why we all hate sales people.

Do You Really Think I Have No Options?
At this point in time in professional history, first year employees have far more opportunity than middle managers and executives!

Yes, your chances of advancement as a 23 year old are far better than those of your father!

Yet and still, middle managers and CEO's still think they can rule with an iron fist. It is as thrilling to see Millennials take power as it is to see a bully get punched in the face.

The Last 90 Days!
A long time ago it was brought to my attention that a guy wrote a book about how to act during the first 90 days on the job. The suggestions are in step with the 3 points above and equally as ineffective.

Do your fighting in the ring! NO ONE appreciates a new employee who speaks too soon, seeks to align themselves with leaders and/or asks questions in group settings (only to display that they know the answer to said question).

Ease your way in. Let your results speak for themselves.

People are remembered not by how they start the game but by how it is finished.

The best example of making a first impression was conveyed to a group by my friend Kevin Costello on his first day on the job....

"I am not naive enough to think I can succeed without the help of others. So I will be reaching out to you for advice."

Those who are remarkable professionals are remarkable people. They are vulnerable, receptive to advice and always willing to laugh at themselves.

Our legacy is determined by the times we've dried the eyes of our employees and the promotions we have passed up so our daughters could continue their soccer careers with their friends.

Technology has it's limits and advice from management is always mired in corporate neutering.

The bully will only believe that she is still in charge if you feed the ego that keeps her alive.

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave  

A Fathers Fallibility & Divine Lessons in Forgiveness

"...Hello Mari, How You Doin'? I Think The Storm and All The Rainy Clouds are Movin'...."
~ Kanye West

I have been writing a blog before it was cool to do so, I've been a sales guy who advises the seemingly rival population or Human Resources professionals for nearly 10 years, but my proudest distinction is that of Husband and Father. There is not a title or a social ranking for the most important things we do in life and that's a good thing.

I'd like to think I'm a good father but I would be insane not to admit that I drive my sweetheart crazy! So, who am I to cast dispersions on anyone. It is a fact that the best men are so because of the women in their lives, I'm honored to have a cast of a amazing females in my corner! I'm a proud husband, an honored father, a coach of young women and a feminist. I've earned the aforementioned distinctions and I am thankful to be incapable of dishonoring them!

I also possess an uncontrollable creative spirit which makes me impossible to categorize and insanely difficult to be around on a daily basis.

As a father the only advice I can give to other soon-to-be fathers is:

If I can do it, you can!

.... I stand by those words! A life without a creative spirit is not a life at all and no one reserves the right to judge any one.

So many times in my life I have been unfairly categorized based on limited interactions... so, as Lebron James said in his forgiveness of Dan Gilbert....

Who Am I To Judge?

I know a man who writes like Kanye West has far more intelligence than he tends to display... it also seems he has a lot of sorrow in his heart. What good does judging the actions of another do for you? Are you happy that for once it is not you who did something stupid?

It may be time to reflect upon the things we bitch about.

Part of being a man is accepting greater responsibilities and limiting the behavioral traits more characteristic of boys than men. Dudes have trouble with that. We feel the need to hold on to our youth by acting immature. Sorry ladies, this is a bad habit that is hard to kick. There is no room to preach and forgiveness should be the first thing we think of when judgement crosses our mind.

We are here for a fun time not a long time. We've also got too little time to waste acting stupid by adding fuel to the fire of another man's missteps.

Perfection is a result of effort and intent, the results don't always add up! That's life. Frustration is most often avoided when you try your hardest doing something in which you believe in.

What do you need to more of? What do you need to do less of?

Before you judge another, get to work on yourself!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

All That Wasted Energy

I would be hypocritical to disregard the power of the inkless pen. It has, however, become increasingly clear that we are running out of ideas.

Social media is not a forum to attack others, karaoke performers should not call themselves artists and the inability to manage effectiveness at the peak of critical performance should be punishable by dismissal.

We are running out of ideas for a few reasons:

• It's easier to criticize than to create.
• Those who are truly engaged don't need recognition.
• Pressure no longer garners attention because failure has become acceptable.

Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain

The above is the first rule pronounced by Dale Carnegie in his book, "How To Win Friends and Influence People". Good Ole Dale has been dead for a long time but his lessons in Human Relations are as true to life as ever.

I am mesmerized at the behavior of "respected authorities" in social media. Experience does not earn you the right to be arrogant and people refuse to evolve the craft of social interaction because bullies hold their amount of posts as a badge of achievement. Just because you have played guitar every day for 10 years doesn't make you a rock star.

Baby, You're A Lost Cause

The people probably remember Beck's song "loser"... that is the worst song he has ever written. If you have a moment to visit the albums "Sea Change" or it's recently rewarded companion "Morning Phase", you will understand the meaning a person feels pouring their heart into a microphone while strumming a guitar.... Nothing is more holy! 

Those who are truly committed to their craft do not require trophies or accolades. They are comfortable enough putting their heart in a box with the hope that someone might make the effort to open it.

Have You Forgotten

I cannot imagine the frustration Seattle Seahawks fans must feel. In the biggest game, in the biggest sport, at the most critical moment.... they fucked up famously!!!! The sports talk rivals of common sense have tried to pontificate on what was the worst play call in the history of sports. 

There is simply no excuse!

The six year old girls soccer team I coach are more deserving of a Super Bowl ring. Without a dog in the fight I am appalled by the lack of execution in the biggest moment in sports... and startled by the lack of outrage.

If you participate in social media to denigrate others, you are going to hell. Kanye West is a bitch. Pete Carroll should be fired. 

But, we are too polite to avoid the elephant that is about to sit on our collective faces. 

If you strive for originality you should celebrate the ideas of amateurs. In my opinion, they are much better than the pros.

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave    

Before The Torch Burns Out

For at least 10 years we have been stereotyping generations in the workplace. There are those looking up at irrelevance and those looking down upon it. In reality, our need to categorize one another by our date of birth is intended to create a system of assigned relevance. We are given to believe that at certain milestones in our life certain goals should be accomplished. Life is messy so we seldom achieve all that we desire. Our natural reaction to time passed with our goals incomplete is to hold our seniority over the young. Which is why Baby Boomers created the term Millennial in the first place.

I'm fortunate enough to coach grade schoolers, to mentor high schoolers, to help College men find jobs and to provide career guidance to those new to the workforce. I cherish the act of helping young people because engaging their perspective helps me stay relevant. 

... In the end, we all just want to remain relevant!

Don't Let The Past Define You

We all want to make a great first impression so we practice hard, show up to work ready to take on any task and do what it takes to catch the herd. Our on-boarding process always includes a state of the union from the self-elected Mayor of Discontent. The aforementioned Mayor has been in the same position for 10+ years and is intent on telling you how things are done around your new company. This is a person who's torch has burnt out and because he/she has nothing to contribute they will do what it takes to diminish your flame. 

Ignore those who do not have your best interest in mind. No achievement is possible without besting what was.

Find Informal Advisors

So you get to your new company and your ambition becomes the envy of those who tried, failed and gave up. Take to social media, strike up a conversation at your kid's soccer game, find a bartender who is a good conversationalist, call an old friend, or search the company directory. Your next mentor does not need to be assigned by your company and he/she may not walk into your life with open arms. I've been mentored by people I've never met in person and some I've never talked to. 

Great advise is everywhere. If you wait to be inspired by your office mates, you might end up like Ron Swanson.

Don't Destroy The Magic By Worrying About The Color of the Rabbit in the Hat

People hate over-analysis. Keep your initial conversations high level. Ease your way in. Trust is built by earning one's comfort. Let them engage you instead of pretending to know everything and making sure everyone knows it.

One Certainty: Hard Work!

More than your level of education, the credentials you have amassed or the trophies on your desk; hard work matters most. 

If you show up first and leave last, success is immanent. Work ethic is the one skill that everyone can learn and is completely within the individuals control.

Be Humble In Victory & Accountable In Defeat

When you win, act like you've been there before. The only thing worse than showing off in the shadow of victory is complaining when you lose. Don't point fingers, those who have fucked up know it and they do not need to be reminded of their failures.

Find Your Beach

I've never had the patience to stop and watch the sunset. But, knowing that it is there keeps me moving toward it.

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave