Monday, April 18, 2011

The Complaint File

A few weeks back I dropped into a downtown bar to grab a cold one. 3 Gentlemen next to me were trading complaints about each and every one of their co-workers. These fellas talked about how hard they work and the lack of recognition they receive. They talked about the top achievers on their team and their unworthiness of such distinction. In a similar circumstance, there are a group of people who gather at the local coffee shop and get their day started by complaining about everything from their jobs, to the government, and how bad the coffee tastes.

It begs the questions: Why must we relate to others by finding common complaints?

Life can be a grind. So we get up early, talk about how much our day will suck, and then go make it so. We all have pressure at work and our peers understand that more than we get a little loud mouth soup in us and sympathize with one complaining.

Complaining is an effort to find validation to life's struggles. But, you don't have to find common group in the negative. In fact, most people's intentions are good, they just want to know others feel the way they do. Shaking your head and sipping your Vodka does not produce solutions...if fact, it makes the challenge harder.

I have had my time in the complaint file. I can recall nights in the similar bar with colleagues...leading the charge. I spoke of the challenges I had before me, that I had done all I could, and that everyone else was falling short. I engaged each day with a furrowed brow and sought to share my discontent with everyone I came across. I thought my narcissism was charming but people walked in the other direction shaking their head.

There are 2 certainties in life:
* You can always find something to complain about
* Every complaint can be conquered by positive thinking

Everyone wants to help more than hinder. To redirect complaints into action items. To invalidate negativity by proposing new ideas instead of adding fuel to the bitch fest.

Start with one day...try not to complain. After a few days, you might find yourself becoming a beacon of hope. Then they will come to you to ask for advice instead of asking for your validation of how bad everything is......

I am not sure why it is so easy to be negative and so impossible to be positive? What I will say is that when you try harder to eliminate complaints YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE!

If people know you are not going to validate their excuses, they stop complaining. When you are not surrounded by negativity the day moves faster.

Would you rather be forward thinking and Happy or smarter than everyone else and miserable?

Don't Forget to Remember!


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