The Complaint File

A few weeks back I dropped into a downtown bar to grab a cold one. 3 Gentlemen next to me were trading complaints about each and every one of their co-workers. These fellas talked about how hard they work and the lack of recognition they receive. They talked about the top achievers on their team and their unworthiness of such distinction. In a similar circumstance, there are a group of people who gather at the local coffee shop and get their day started by complaining about everything from their jobs, to the government, and how bad the coffee tastes.

It begs the questions: Why must we relate to others by finding common complaints?

Life can be a grind. So we get up early, talk about how much our day will suck, and then go make it so. We all have pressure at work and our peers understand that more than anyone...so we get a little loud mouth soup in us and sympathize with one another....by complaining.

Complaining is an effort to find validation to life's struggles. But, you don't have to find common group in the negative. In fact, most people's intentions are good, they just want to know others feel the way they do. Shaking your head and sipping your Vodka does not produce solutions...if fact, it makes the challenge harder.

I have had my time in the complaint file. I can recall nights in the similar bar with colleagues...leading the charge. I spoke of the challenges I had before me, that I had done all I could, and that everyone else was falling short. I engaged each day with a furrowed brow and sought to share my discontent with everyone I came across. I thought my narcissism was charming but people walked in the other direction shaking their head.

There are 2 certainties in life:
* You can always find something to complain about
* Every complaint can be conquered by positive thinking

Everyone wants to help more than hinder. To redirect complaints into action items. To invalidate negativity by proposing new ideas instead of adding fuel to the bitch fest.

Start with one day...try not to complain. After a few days, you might find yourself becoming a beacon of hope. Then they will come to you to ask for advice instead of asking for your validation of how bad everything is......

I am not sure why it is so easy to be negative and so impossible to be positive? What I will say is that when you try harder to eliminate complaints YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE!

If people know you are not going to validate their excuses, they stop complaining. When you are not surrounded by negativity the day moves faster.

Would you rather be forward thinking and Happy or smarter than everyone else and miserable?

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Re: Action

Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.

– Winston Churchill

This quote from Sir Winston presents simple terms that address the most difficult conundrum anyone can face:
Dealing with Failure

There are 2 categories for those who have been challenged and have fallen short:
Those mired in self pity who never challenge themselves again
Those who put on a facade to present themselves as bullet proof

It's Not My Fault
Do you know someone who is consistently angry? Every day sucks because they wake up with the foresight of dread. From the minute they walk out the door they project their discontent on others so they never have to be accountable to themselves again. They use negativity to provoke others prepared to respond because they cannot stand to see another smile.

Don't allow these folks to suck you in...they are the cowards who have tried, failed and cannot bear to face disappointment again.

The Smile Guy
Do you see that person in the office that always smiles, that laughs at all your jokes, that folds his hands properly in his lap when the boss speaks (nodding in approval). I get it, sometimes you need unflappable positivity to navigate the overwhelming negativity that others will heap upon you.

It can be said, however, that those who find the positive in everything may be just as cowardly as the person who blames everyone else. If you never hold anyone accountable, odds are you will be trampled at every turn.

Don't be the Fault Deflector or the Smile Guy....find the strategic medium:
Work Hard
Develop Candid Relationships
Find the Solution

Touch All The Bases
You have to carry the weight...every day. Accept that you will quarterback every task, every day. Know that those helping you will try and fail. Be willing to be the focal point. Out work everyone: your partners, your managers, your support staff.

Be Humble in Victory and Accountable in Defeat. Never deflect blame or brag over accomplishments. Every game has a critical turn....the person who drove the victory or is responsible for the defeat knows who they are (as does everyone else).

Wake Up Call
You cannot advise someone without their respect. If someone is failing and they are continually badgered they will continually ignore advice. We all face our pivotal moments, usually a reflection of some hard words from someone who loves us dearly.

It is difficult to tell a friend they have hit their bottom. You have to have relationships within which you can tell those who are falling how to get back up in light of their ignorance to reality.

Solutions Not Excuses
Don't be the smiley guy, don't ignore misconduct with a smile, don't pretend you can wish away the inefficiency. But, stay upbeat!

You don't have to smile and laugh loud to be positive. You DO have to find a solution in everything. Save time arguing your point to prove your personal relevance and find a gateway to progress. No one cares who forgot the copies if you win the deal. Put aside the insignificant, think big picture, be adaptable, don't show your cards and accept nothing other than victory.

Let it be known that a person's character shines greatest in their moments of discontent....it is easy to smile when you are winning!

You cannot grow without failure. If you win all the time you might be selective in the challenges you accept. Break the mold, continue to develop and never compromise.

We Can Do This!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave