The Complaint File

A few weeks back I dropped into a downtown bar to grab a cold one. 3 Gentlemen next to me were trading complaints about each and every one of their co-workers. These fellas talked about how hard they work and the lack of recognition they receive. They talked about the top achievers on their team and their unworthiness of such distinction. In a similar circumstance, there are a group of people who gather at the local coffee shop and get their day started by complaining about everything from their jobs, to the government, and how bad the coffee tastes.

It begs the questions: Why must we relate to others by finding common complaints?

Life can be a grind. So we get up early, talk about how much our day will suck, and then go make it so. We all have pressure at work and our peers understand that more than anyone...so we get a little loud mouth soup in us and sympathize with one another....by complaining.

Complaining is an effort to find validation to life's struggles. But, you don't have to find common group in the negative. In fact, most people's intentions are good, they just want to know others feel the way they do. Shaking your head and sipping your Vodka does not produce solutions...if fact, it makes the challenge harder.

I have had my time in the complaint file. I can recall nights in the similar bar with colleagues...leading the charge. I spoke of the challenges I had before me, that I had done all I could, and that everyone else was falling short. I engaged each day with a furrowed brow and sought to share my discontent with everyone I came across. I thought my narcissism was charming but people walked in the other direction shaking their head.

There are 2 certainties in life:
* You can always find something to complain about
* Every complaint can be conquered by positive thinking

Everyone wants to help more than hinder. To redirect complaints into action items. To invalidate negativity by proposing new ideas instead of adding fuel to the bitch fest.

Start with one day...try not to complain. After a few days, you might find yourself becoming a beacon of hope. Then they will come to you to ask for advice instead of asking for your validation of how bad everything is......

I am not sure why it is so easy to be negative and so impossible to be positive? What I will say is that when you try harder to eliminate complaints YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE!

If people know you are not going to validate their excuses, they stop complaining. When you are not surrounded by negativity the day moves faster.

Would you rather be forward thinking and Happy or smarter than everyone else and miserable?

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Extraordinary Conquest

We go in fits and starts throughout the year: success lifting our motivation, failures causing questions and doubt. Readers of this blog have seen the inspiration of personal empowerment and the frustration with those who deter it.

We are wonderfully imperfect and that is the whole point of living.

We must live and learn. To try harder in the eye of failure and to be humble in our success.

So today the message is simple: Achieve the Impossible!

There has never been a time when the naysayers haven't lined up to cross arms and shake heads in the midst of your effort. Allow not those whose time has come and gone to pull back your intent for greatness. They are the reason the word impossible exists.

In every phase of living records are broken, new goals are set and achieved, revenue production is exceeded and new standards are set. We have never gone backward. This mostly because someone comes around who fails to hear the whispers of distraction. If you do not acknowledge the negative, they are powerless.

So Today...you walk from your front door into a world of possibility because you have not acknowledged limits....they do not exist....they are an excuse for the failed effort of others and their inability to transcend short comings.

It's Go Time!

There are 3 Distinct Ways in which you can avoid the negative:
* Ignore
* Smile
* Question

Only If You Notice
We are all driven by our egos. So when a guy elbows you on the way out a 2 way door his hatred literally rubs off on you. When someone cuts you off and pulls up next to you on the street, naturally you want flip them off. These people are miserable and they want to drag you into their misery. When you snap back at them you add fuel to their fire.

Ignore them. They will get back to their car, shake their heads, realize the ass they have become and wallow in their misery alone.

No One Can Resist
Does your smile cause others to look over their shoulder. As if they can't imagine that anyone could be happy...as if they think you must be noticing bird droppings on their head.

I used to bock at those who smiled...wondering how they could do so in the midst of this tortured world. Make no mistake about it, those who smile are courageous! Any coward can frown, grumble and oppose everything.

Is Everything OK?
Those with stored up discontent want to share, be heard and to be validated. If you are strong enough to invite discussion with the malcontent you may find a simple question will empower them...to get their anger off their chest, to get it out in the open and to move on.

All you have to do is invite a question. You may not have to say another word to them there after. They may thank you...and remember your positive intent.

Sometimes the best way to help someone is by helping them understand that their sissy behavior will not be encouraged.

Times are tough, every day has it's set of new challenges, one thing goes right and five new things come up.

We are imperfect! There will never be a time when everything is where it needs to be....this is our opportunity!

Grow Every Day! Stay Positive!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave