It's the 150th edition of DFTR and it would only be fitting to dedicate it to my sweetie.
The 3rd Principle of Awesomeness is:
Ease Your Way In
My wife knows the elegance of this principle. When I met her she allowed me to be myself and was to me completely true to herself. She didn't try to be someone she was not and she did not overtly try to be the 'fun girl'. She eased her way in and allowed me time to get to know her.
We can learn a lot from those we love!
Do you pretend to be someone you are not?
Do you dress, act or adjust your tact to be 'professional'?
Is the person you present at work unlike your genuine self?
Last week we revealed a pretty simple secret:
The Pretenders are Always Discovered
Why is it that we think we have to put up a facade? I understand the aspects of professional demeanor...consider your audience, do your best to control your temper, channel your passion to the positive, and try to think objectively. Beyond that you are crossing a line from respectful to kiss ass...this creates a counter-effect.
Here are a couple tips that might assist you in being Genuine to Yourself:
* Don't Fold Your Hands and Smile
* Don't Tout Your Achievements
* Develop a Personal Connection
* Don't Try to Kiss an Alligator
A person's true character is revealed when they are talking to their constituent with the least amount of power. If you insult your underlings you are abusing power you do not possess!
Displaying behavior inauthentic to your true self is fatal to your character. Once you are identified as the guy/girl who is full of sh*t - you never get off that list.
If that shirt is uncomfortable - don't wear it!
If you don't respect someone - don't pretend you do!
Do what you are really good at - don't pretend to be good at what you are not!
I'm Still Here
We examined the 'look at me' syndrome last week. I cannot stress enough the importance of eliminating this bravado driven act of selfishness. You don't have to talk about your work before or after you perform it. Let the scoreboard speak for itself.
If you have worked hard...we will take notice. If you have tried and failed...we will forget. If you talk in the lobby bar about what you did right or wrong...you tarnish your effort!
It is better to keep your mouth shut and let the results exercise themselves than to add a soundtrack to the game. I understand this is easier said than done.
Allow it to come to you
Don't you think the CEO gets sick of having his/her ass kissed? It may stand to reason that they respect their children more than anyone they work with because the kids see through their presumed authoritative profile. Accordingly, Senior Leaders have an acute ability to smell BS from a mile away!
Here's a recommendation: Don't come up to the CEO after 4 vodka tonics and explain your 'plan' to her. Relax, be present and allow her to engage you in conversation. Odds are that by burying the front end bravado and treating them as your equal they will be immediately endeared to your character.
...which brings us to our next point
I was in a conference hall filled with 1,200 sales reps a minute before our release from conference to Happy Hour when our CEO told the group:
"...and to all of you young up-starts that are headed to the bar, if you remember anything let it be this:
If you try to kiss an alligator you will get your head bitten off".
That one stuck with me!
For some reason Senior Executives remember (and never forget) the little things. Ten thousand hours of hard work can be replaced by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Executives are so seldom down on 'our level' and that minute they see you taking a break may be the only thing they affiliate to your name. Unfair but very, very pertinent!
Great ideas with a Martini sidecar put you in the personal memory bank of 'glass ceiling polisher'.
So, after my to-be wife put up with me falling down the stairs on our first 5 dates. I decided to let her in. I would invite her to see my favorite musician perform. She accepted my invitation. She did not study the song book to sing along, she didn't even pretend to like the performer....when the lights went down and the curtain came up, she simply stepped aside and allowed me to be me!
Don't Forget to Remember!