Monday, April 21, 2014

Why People Dislike You (unbeknownst to you)

I believe it is the first amendment that allows us to say whatever might be on our mind. The one thing human beings do exceptionally well is abuse our free will. A right, law, and/or rule does not trump commonsense. Herein lies our problem: a system cannot function without human interaction and humans are complex beyond comprehension.

You won't be stricken down if you pretend your suit affords you a skill you do not possess, if you talk loud on your cell phone in a public place, or if you cough all over your co-workers. You should, however, know better...and you do! We also assume that for us to win another must lose. We level-set our relationships and find a way to pay it backward.

Here's how to submit yourself to obscurity (while assuming you are progressing):

Wear A Suit
I heard an interesting interview in which a man wore a suit to a meeting with best intentions. He quickly found out that the least dressed person in the meeting was the most important. It was further discovered that the need to "dress-up" is merely an admission of lack of belonging in any professional situation.

I've been in sales for many years. There are 2 things that sales people assume a definition of success:
1. Sales people learn from sales people.
2. Dress defines success.

Dum Dums! In reality, if a sales person were to learn a trade their finest teachers are those from whom they buy. Showing up in a fancy suit and a shiny tie now indicates one screaming innuendo:
I have no idea what I'm doing, but if I look this way, you may be too-intimidated to ask me any questions that would require any brains.

Abuse The Social Space
You are on your cell phone in a public place. You throw your voice across the room so people know you are involved in large business transactions, that the ladies love you, and/or that you indeed have tickets to the big events tonight. People look up sheepishly from their lap top, not because they are intimidated by your aura of Awesome, but because they are subtly praying the the repose of your soul.

What ever happened to manners? Why are we so lonely that we have to pretend to have a conversation so that others can raise eyebrows toward our pretend success? Why can we not sit in silence for 7 minutes over coffee in mental preparation for our day?

These are sad times!

Your hair looks nice, you talked to yourself in the mirror while you put on your tie, and 12 people on facebook have complimented your weekend photos. So, you trot down the street pointing at people saying, "hey guy".... that man has a name and he thinks you are a tool.

Today's buyer knows about your products and services because they can read (see the Internet). They only ask you questions to measure your degree of honesty. The more you talk, the less-credible you appear.

Be yourself! Listen to the problem and offer a solution.... wearing a tie does not afford you the super-power of fitting a square peg into a triangular hole.

Don't Forget to Remember!


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