Wednesday, May 11, 2011

To Be Honest

" To Be Honest,.... "
" Honestly... "
" I'm gonna be Honest with you... "

This might not be the best way to frame your conversations.

As if to say, I have not been Honest for a second of our time together to this point..but now...I'm going to let you in on something. Here's the thing, I usually lie to everyone I meet...but right this moment...I am going to do you a telling the truth for once.

You can call it a figure of speech. Be advised, however, that figures of speech are just that...action figures, put in front of words, to mask the genuine intent of your message.

The DFTR readers will recall the danger of using 'framed language'.

It is very difficult to be a master of communication. One way to start doing this is to eliminate the bravado....stop book marking your language with phrases such as:
* At the end of the day
* It is what it is
* Honestly,.....

Thought transition is important. We want to show others that we are focused communicators by allowing our conversation to flow. So we insert a word like..."honestly"...while we derive our next thought.

There are 2 simple lessons to be learned here:
1. If you have been fibbing up until this point, the trust is broken
2. If you have been honest up until this point, the trust is broken

At the wedding of his son, I told my football coach how proud I was of him. "if you would have said that differently, I might have believed you" - he said.


We get caught up in trying to sound smart and frame our language. We pretend to be interesting and alienate our true contributions.

So, to answer your question...."can I be honest with you?'.....The answer is: NO!

Don't Forget to Remember!



  1. That was honestly a good blog! I honestly learned a lot and at the end of the day, that's what counts. It is was it is, so don't go and put lipstick on a pig.

    Kovo for president!

  2. Well Said, Duker! I defer the Presidential distinction to you!