Empty Cans

I remember where I was when Regan was shot, I remember where I was when Kurt Gibson hit that home run against the A's and I remember where I was the first time I heard "Empty Cans" by the Streets.



The record 'A Grand Don't Come for Free' is a concept album that explores self imposed frustration, paranoia and the struggle to stay profitable. Through the course of the record our narrator (Mike Skinner) explores the aforementioned struggles in Artful Dodger prose. Skinner tells the story of a envelope with $1000 in it gone missing. Who's to blame? Why is no one coming clean? Finger pointing and insecurity sets in. As Skinner holes up in his flat feeling sorry for himself even his TV malfunctions.



As these stories and their paralleled metaphors unfold "Empty Cans" serves as the record's finale. The song works in two opposing parts. The first act an indulgence in self pity: Skinner remarks that it's not his fault there's wall to wall empty cans because everyone is against him. A conspiracy exists as his girlfriend has run off with his best pal and even the TV repair man is in on it as a greater fee to do more extended service has been suggested. Act one culminates with a fight with the TV man (for overcharging him) and a slumber behind drawn shades (feeling sorry for himself)....A deep droning back beat grinds his words of self pity and inquisition of his enemies (everyone).



(REWIND)



Our narrator enters with stubborn slumping shoulders in act two but promptly gives in. He invites his friend Scott over to have a look at the TV. He opens his blinds and admits "it's all my my fault theres wall to wall empty cans". Greater possibilities turn droning back beats into a lifting piano roll. He admits shutting people out has only made him feel worse, hearing his friend out brought closure and he may be at fault for his perception of things...."This is where everything started to all turn back".



Scott goes to work on the TV and he sees something obscuring the frequencies.....the envelope with $1000 stuck in the crack of the TV! Skinner's smile turns to a humble squint as he realizes that the bad times with his girlfriend, financial hardship, struggles with his friends and his overall view of humanity had been the culmination of one thing: His Attitude.



"When it rains it pours", we often say. Bad things seem to happen in tandem with one another. This chain of events is the result of the little things that permeate our psyche and create debilitating negativity. Things will happen that are beyond our control, we will try hard and fail, others will get lucky with limited effort and people will fall out of love with us. Life isn't fair and if we give in to the down slope we are bound to crash.



In the professional world I know many people who live in constant discontent: always trying to prove their relevance, distracted by miscalculation, perceivably mired in under appreciation, working harder with less results and without deserved credit. At some point the back beat drone has to turn into lifting piano. When you adjust your attitude, accept things you cannot change and stay the course; eventually the pointing fingers turn into smiles. I struggle with my own validation every day but Skinner says it best in the coda of "Empty Cans": You are the one who's got your back when the last deeds done. In essence, The only expectations that matter are your own.



If you live your life with genuine intent you discover a few universal truths: your failures are usually a result of your lack of effort or mis-perceptions, those pointing fingers do so to keep the spotlight off themselves, and those who take short cuts run into a dead end sooner or later. Believe in your true life's mission, commit yourself with passion fueled generosity, stay focused on the prize and ignore the detractors...you will find success, and moreover, happiness.



His thousand quid save in the bank, the realization of his true friends, and the shame of feeling sorry for himself behind him; Mike Skinner picks up the empty cans that have cluttered his path to success. He draws the blinds and sets out to live his life, unsure of potential results but empowered in knowing the only person capable of keeping him from ultimate success is himself.



"It's the end of something I did not want to end, beginning of hard times to come. But, something that was not meant to be is done and this is the start of what was..."



- Dave

Lefty: The Peoples Champ!

Lucas Glover won the 109th US Open Golf Tournament. A remarkable accomplishment, arguably one of the most difficult in sport.

My friend Phil Mickelson failed to win the allusive US Open Championship (again). Phil has taken a lot of grief in his golfing career for not training hard enough (he is some what portly), making bad choices (put the driver away!), and for lacking a killer instinct (why can't we all be a Tiger). He has been characterized as a disappointment - a man full of potential but the aforementioned short comings his Achilles heel. The chubby guy is always a top money winner but his performance in major championships has been called a result of lack of focus when the chips are down. The awkward left hander has been seen too many times with his hat over his eyes teeming with regret and frustration for executing perfectly on 71 of 72 holes.

Despite the barrage of criticism Phil has always remained positive: a dimpled smile and words of encouragement through a camera to himself.

But a few weeks back at the St. Jude Classic Phil Mickelson broke down into tears at a press conference. "...there are times when I am alone in my car and I can't keep myself from crying...", he proclaimed. The tears not an effect of lack of effort or focus but the effect of the news that his beloved wife Amy has breast cancer.

At Beth Page Black, Mr. Glover hoisted a silver trophy over his head...to polite hand claps. The real ovation came from the good people of New York as 'Lefty' Phil Mickelson stormed the fair ways. Fathers and Sons stood to their feet to applaud him on Father's Day, young ladies watched him as their mother's whispered in their ears that he is a father of three little girls like them, and everyone stopped for a moment to raise their cup to a man who is more than an athlete.

So in the last few months Lefty has revealed himself to us: A husband and dad first, a golfer second. He lacks killer instinct at times, he makes bad club selection and he could stand to do some sit ups. But Phil Mickelson appreciates the privilege of being a father and a husband and when his wife got sick he put down his clubs to be by her side.

There has never been more pressure in our lives to perform at the highest level...there has never been a time when excuses are less excusable. To paraphrase Phil "...Amy had told me that she would like a sliver trophy by her hospital bed...I thought I had a chance to win today, I made every effort to do that and it didn't work out...and that's OK..."

Don't Forget to Remember!

- Dave

Happy Fathers Day Artie Lange

A lot has been said over the last few days in reference to Artie Lange's appearance on Joe Buck Live.

There seems to be a divide of sports purest who believe Joe Buck walks on water and Howard Stern Fans who are of the impression that Artie "killed". Artie had a near identical appearance on "the best damn spots show" a few months back. That appearance did not make headlines because Bill Bellamy celebrated Artie for delivering the content he was sequestered to deliver. So, Joe Buck either didn't do his homework or he promoted an 'edgy' show and got in way over his head. Either way, instead of piling on Artie maybe we should hold Joe Buck accountable.

The media chastised Artie Lange throughout this week as an inappropriate bully filled with vitriol. Instead of joining the criticism, Howard Stern used his self-imposed psychological training to engage Artie in a thought process. The simple questions being posed: what is the root of all this anger.

I paraphrase Artie's response to this sincere question: "...I have anger issues because of what happened to my father...he was my hero and a man who was larger than life...he was my best friend and after a long game of catch my hand hurt because he threw the ball so hard...when he became a quadriplegic I spent the last four years of his life wiping his nose and he asked me to kill him once a week..."

Does Artie have the right to act out on Joe Buck Live to mask the aforementioned tragedy? He is a performer and has exercised his demons by speaking his mind without a filter. Should Artie Lange put aside his anger, abandon his act and put on a tie to pander to Joe Buck?

Artie Lange has one profound insight that the Ivy League journalists turned talk radio hosts may not comprehend: When the Stern show goes off the air, when he is no longer receiving $50k a stand up gig, when he is not topping the New York Times best seller list....Artie Lange has to go back home...to New Jersey. The barreled bellied dock laborers with canned beer in paper bags on the stoops of Artie's neighborhood won't remember the time he sung with Paul McCartney, sold out Carnegie Hall or received accolades from Dr. Drew on his best selling book. They will remember the time he went on Joe Buck Live and spoke his mind in genuine terms.

My dad worked his ass off because he never wanted to put himself in a position where he had to take short cuts. He is a man of integrity first. He taught me never to compromise my genuine intent to please anyone else and that the only expectations that matter are my own.

So on Father's Day, before I play catch with my son, I will raise a toast to Arthur Lange Jr. May your first son be a masculine son and may you meet him at short after the Yankees win a World Championship.

Happy Father's Day Artie Lange. My son and I would like to share this one with you!

- Dave

Luck Does Not Discriminate!

We are faced with two dramatic sides to the generational spectrum in the workplace at present:

* Generation Y - Younger, engaged, entitled, driven and in search of immediate recognition.

* The Baby Boomers - Older, conservative, strategic, decorated, entitled, driven and in search of validation.

The aforementioned diversity has created many amazing parallels:

* Innovation vs. Proven Results

* Ideas vs. Statistics

* Cyber Relationships vs. Long Term Partnerships

* Theory vs. Action

So let's survey our discontent and choose a corner:

Many of those in the 50+ age range have dedicated their lives to a single organization and have the lapel pins to prove it. The shorties have kicked the door down and are already looking for promotions. Blogging, Twittering, FaceBook, MySpace and Linked-in have opened up networks for young people that their Mom's would have had attended 1,000 chamber of commerce mixers to build. The old guard are of the opinion that 'coffee is for closers' and nothing speaks louder than a proven track record. The new generation are of the belief that the old way of doing business is the cause for our current depression and only flipping the industry on it's ear will clean up the carnage.

Let's find some common ground through pure business sense:

1. Persistence pays off

2. Relationships drive professional development

3. Ideas become business innovation when theory becomes law

4. Nice guys usually do finish first

Don't knock it till you try it:

I was of the belief that Twitter was a means to update friends on our tanning regiment; I was wrong. I have wasted long hours attending networking events at which I did not make one meaningful connection, there is seldom a measurable ROI to blogging, I have put countless hours into deals that I have lost, there are strategic partners that will take more than they give, you will misinterpret your intentions through technology, there are people who have left companies after 50 years of employment with nothing to show for it, and there are people who are millionaires without any business acumen.

There is one certainty we may choose to ignore but have to admit: Luck has it's place in business.

You can strategize your butt off, connect with 1,000,000 people, serve a company for 20 years, and build a better mouse trap. You can work harder, receive more certification and produce continual results. Sometimes you get flat out screwed by methods beyond your control and other times you just get lucky!

So when the Jr and Sr Managers square off in volleyball at this year's company picnic.....you might want to remember that Janie from accounting played Volleyball in grade school and Jr High and High School and College and went to Volleyball camp every summer! But, that still doesn't excuse her continually late TPS reports.

We all have our strengths and weakness. So before we get too hung up on pushing Grandpa out the door or discard little Emily's every contribution...we might want to remember that which is out of our control: Luck is part of business and it does not discriminate!

- Dave

Cyber Suit

In these troubling times there are more people out of work than ever....this allotment of free time added to the free enterprise of the Internet has created a phenomenon. Many are choosing to leave the rat race and go it alone. The world of entrepreneurship has taken an ever accessible priority to those seeking to redefine business dynamics.

The plan seems simple enough: if you are having trouble promoting your resume and work experience, create a personal brand through a well defined social network. While the intent is empowering and inspiring it does present the conundrum of fluff vs. expertise. It has never been easier to share ideas, promote them as gospel and develop a following. So as resumes disappear into a black whole, those without employment are faced with creating and promoting an alter-ego to differentiate themselves among their peers.


I am of the impression that no relationship should be overlooked, you should consistently challenges yourself to develop new opportunities and that sharing ideas in a free enterprise can only benefit those seeking a new direction.

It comes down to the best allocation of time. Is it better for those beset by employment famine to take on part-time employment, look to a retail support job, or masquerade in cyberspace?

Is it more important to work or develop the ability promote your skill?


I left a networking group in the city the other day in contemplation of the aforementioned. My answer came as I entered the corridor to the train tunnel. There sat a man playing his cello in grandiose beauty. He did not speak, hold up a sign, or promote the event on Facebook. His work spoke for itself; no bravado or accompaniment.

The more options and opinions the more confusing it becomes to choose a direction. So it comes down to this: follow your genuine intent, work hard to prove your worth and stay the course....oh, and make sure you have a wide and diverse social network to promote your effort!

- Dave

A Note on Generational Diversity

Friends -
I have received a lot of flack at Bellingham Square Park this week from young bloggers. It appears my advice to High School & College graduates has crated a slanted demographic of readership.


Tomorrow a collection of future leaders will be walking the sand box to receive hand written certificates of Preschool Graduation. The tunnel vision of my professional advising has caused me to overlook this group and their place in our societal development.

So it is with grad apology to all the shorties whose mom's are pressing their Baby Gap cap and gown that I offer this advice:
Words Speak Louder than Actions - you are in Kindergarten now...pooping your pants will lead to years of regret and embarrassment. People don't forget. Use your words, tell the teacher and hold it in.

Always Defend Yourself - It is never appropriate to start a fight but bullies become babies when you punch them back!

Sandwich First, Snacks Later - Pudding snacks pair much better with apple juice after having a full peanut butter sandwich on your pallet.

Homework Happy Hour - Sunset sessions at the park are way more funner when you've finished your ABC's. Decompress after school with your favorite cartoon but hit the books before the evening exercise.

Know Your Audience - When you make fun of kids the others are only laughing because you are making them uncomfortable. Be cool to hefty gents, they will be blocking for you in 8 years.

Always Tell Mom/Dad You Love Them - Craig Carmichael only told you that 'parents just don't understand' because he is a Will Smith junkie! Don't buy it....Mom and Dad have seen you naked many times and can ruin your reputation if the box wine is flowing at your next birthday party.

Bear in mind that I was held back in Kindergarten so I may not be the best source for advice at this age. Nonetheless, I chalk this up to a learning experience for us all. I promise to be mindful of age discrimination in future advice columns.

Go now onto the large playground of grade school and make your presence known!

- Dave

To the High School Graduates of 2009!

Young People -
The Summer after my Senior year in High School was one of the most exciting times in my life. I got hired by Mr. Carnegie to do construction in downtown Detroit. Leaving the suburbs to work in the inner city was the first of many rewarding personal journeys before me. I met some of the most interesting people I had ever met on that job site. Every afternoon after work I stopped by a liquor store (that encapsulated the ship's captain behind bullet proof glass) to pick up a few 40's to share with my friends. We would sit out in a field by a lake looking back on the last four years. These times shrouded in subtle salutes to one another for helping navigate the mundane rules of our youth. We would tell stories of our conquests and laugh until things went silent and we were individually left to look ahead. I thought of the great friends I had made, how I would miss them and what I would do without their security. I thought of the girlfriend I was leaving behind and how I would very likely never see her again. But more than anything, I could not wait to get out of the nest to try new things and experience new relationships.

So take this summer to tell your friends how much you have appreciated their support in this chapter of your life and 90 days from now delicately close this chapter. High School is over and it is time to begin living YOUR life by YOUR standards.

I was in your shoes 17 years ago, but here are a few theories that should ring universal as you enter this next phase of your life:
Leave High School in Your Home Town - Things will be more challenging now: you will have less friends, more responsibility, harder classes and grander expectations. You will want to quit and go back home....don't!

Call Mom - Your parents have been profoundly annoying since Jr High. Know this: all the frustration you will soon face they already have and can offer genuine advice accordingly. Your folks love you unconditionally and will be the first you call when things go pear shaped. Develop Karmic Escrow! Let Mom know when things are going well as opposed to waiting to ask for money or to break the news of academic probation.

Manage Your Time - You will now have more time than ever to live life by your standards. Put time aside every day to study and do not hit the keg party until your studies are complete. The beer tastes better on the wings of achievement and is less enjoyable with unfinished work looming.

Make New Friends - Your High School friends will always be there for you....you will pick up where you left off and it will continue that way for eternity. Branch out, the kids you meet in college might not be there for you forever, but for now their varied upbringing will better formulate your life view.

Court the Best Looking Girl in Class - She has a boy friend at home in Nebraska but 4 years is a long time. You may want to be the first at the post office gate when she mails that guy his letter jacket.

Take Time to Discover Yourself - Don't go into the family business because it is convenient, don't marry that girl because your sister thinks she's sweet, and don't select a major based on your dad's dreams. Find what you love in life and make it your career. Passion is what differentiates professionalism. You have to follow what you love. Now is the time to choose your passion, 10 years from now it may be too late.

Don't Break Any Hearts and Don't be Afraid to Open Yours - It is extraordinarily unlikely that you will marry your High School sweetheart. He/She will break up with you via letter, phone call, text or email and your heart will sink into your shoes. You will get over it in a week or two. Be willing to let your love lead his/her life! Experience new relationships and know that if you follow your true intent you will find you an unimaginable happiness in Love. Be aware that if you smother someone with unrequited love you will both miss an essential part of growing up; resentment is immanent and often irreparable.

Shower Twice a Day - self explanatory.

Don't try hard drugs! - interpret how you will.

Drink beer or wine - Hard liquor goes down faster, will get you drunk faster, will lead you to make bad decisions and will probably cause you to throw up on your new shoes. Beer promotes longevity, stumbling into someones arms is not romantic.

Find a Leadership Role - I learned more in leading a student organization than I ever did in the class room. The key to leadership is listening to the group's concerns/goals and to formulate an organizational plan accordingly. You do not have to be super organized or well versed in public speaking to be a leader.

Get a Job - If you like fashion - work in retail. If you like sports - work in the athletic department. If you like music - work at the school paper writing indie rock reviews. If you like god - volunteer at the youth ministry. This practice will help you understand what you like and what you do not....disqualification is a key trait at this stage in your life.

Have Fun - Know that for the next four years you are formulating your career personality by trial and error. Step out of your comfort zone and be willing to fail; every day. Refinement of your strengths is the key! Try, Fail and Try Again.....now is the time for this exercise.

Let this be the first of an array of adult advice that you take with a grain of salt. Accept advice with humble gratitude but follow your ambition. True intent is the result of life experience, now is the time to experience life!

Move forward without looking back and become the person you have always wanted to be!

- Dave

Waiting for Superman

I recently heard an archived interview with Dana Reeve (wife of the late Christopher) from the Howard Stern show. Among the topics of conversation was the Superman curse:


" The Superman curse refers to a series of misfortunes that have plagued creative people involved in adaptations of Superman in various media, particularly actors who have played the role of Superman on film and television. The curse basically states, If you intend to play the strongest man on Earth, you will either die or end up in the weakest position possible...."
- wikipedia




While this curse has been well documented in folk lore, bar stool philosophy, comicon back rooms and a Ben Affleck movie; the real truth about the tragedy of the Superman curse comes from The Flaming Lips. In 1999, I stumbled upon a Flaming Lips album in the record store. My thoughts of them were of a Roxy Music type flamboyant glam band.....I was wrong. The record "The Soft Bulletin" was produced by the great Dave Fridmann and Steven Drozd's sonic contributions catapulted the band from an avant garde garage band to rock opera purveyors.

It was not until a few listens through that I landed on my pillow to hear "Waiting for Superman". As happens with me and lady music from time to time, tears flowed from my face while the extraordinary story unfolded:

Wayne Coyne sings: "...is it overwhelming to use a crane to crush a fly...it's a good time for Superman to lift the sun into the sky..."

and

"...tell everybody waiting for Superman that they should try to hold on the best they can. He hasn't dropped them, forgot them, or anything. It's just too heavy for Superman to lift..."

Mind blowing in it's crushing nature as if to tell us....If Superman is giving up by taking his own life under pressure what can we possibly do to get through this. The man in the cape is not coming, he has laid himself down in defeat, you are on your own! For some reason the song, as terrible as it seemed on the surface, gave me hope. Hope that maybe one day Superman would be back and that he has not dropped or forgotten us but that he is in a bunker planning his grand return to save the human race. If the aforementioned failed it helped me understand that Superman (or God or my Dad or my Boss) will not always be there for me so there comes a point where I have to ask myself....."If not me, then who?".

Years later I was attending an Iron & Wine performance and the great Sam Beam armed with only an acoustic guitar performed 'waiting for superman'; again the tears. How on earth could Sam Beam possibly realize the importance of this song to me, why did it fit so perfectly with the rest of his set and why was he looking directly at me as he sang the tragic/hope filled tale. As Sam's sister Sara complimented his voice into the chorus the sun was truly lifted into the sky. For the first time in a very long time I felt completely at home. I swore if I ever became a father to a son I would name him Sam.

So now as the doom and gloom of the world's financial abyss drowns us all, families part, people take their own lives, and soldiers struggle for our freedom on earth...our heroes seem to be in exile.

As your humble narrator I can only offer you this:

Keep Your Eyes on the Horizon - Superman is coming!
(and until he does)
Ask Yourself - If Not Me Then Who? - Carry the weight long enough and you too will learn to fly.


Hold on the best you can,

Dave

A Gateway to Opportunity

If ever you loose faith in humanity take time to visit the International Welcome Gate at the airport.

When we get off a day long flight a smiling face is all we need to remember the reason we endure our long and frustrating journey. We arrive at our destination with engaged hope for what is to come and spirits lifted. Limitless opportunity is met with the genuine kindness in the face of an old friend. Kids fly into their Daddy's arms and run rough shot through the terminal after being couped up for a fort night. I did not see frustration in the faces of the weary worldly travelers but rather a humble thanks for being home safe or for having arrived at a new opportunity.

Why then is our return to the airport different? Stress over making our flight on time, traffic, our outworn welcome and the need to get out of a friend's hair...tears for a love lost and a last trip to a place for which we once held high hopes.

The journeys we embark upon in life are set before us as the pages in a long story; some will be front page news and others a word in the appendix. I struggled through traffic to get to the airport, paid too much for parking, and waited in a crowded area with swine flu paranoid strangers. On top of this, my best friend was held up in customs and I was forced to leave back to my busy life without seeing him. Time and money lost and an opportunity to provide my courageous pal much needed validation missed. But the human compassion of my fellow travelers could not keep me from smiling.

If we understand that each arrival is a new opportunity and that we are always moving from one new thing to the next; maybe we can find the beauty in every action. Each time we step into uncertainty we challenge ourselves to create something new. Every time we fail to stray we miss a chance to move forward. If we are constantly 'arriving' then there is never a reason to look back but only forward.

The way home is always less exciting but once we have taken a path the walk back seems shorter.

- Dave

To Class of 2009

College Graduates of the Class of 2009 -
Congratulations on the extraordinary achievements that have lead you here. For many of you this will mean the conclusion of your formal education which would mean you never have to sit through 'class' again. The elation of escaping the 'teachers and books' is most certainly coupled with the fear of the unknown. Use your uncertainty to fuel your ambition; seldom in life will you face a time a greater possibility.

I am not a person of extended extensive degrees or certifications but I can certainly offer you a few tips from one who crossed the educational finish line a decade before you did:

Be Positive - your approach to every day will determine it's outcome.

Be Confident yet Humble - everyone loves courage no one appreciates the indignity of pomposity.

Ask Questions for the Sake of Expanding your Skill Set ...do not grandstand by asking questions to which you know the answer for the sake of showcasing your knowledge.

Know that Nothing is too Important - as your life and career endure you will face many challenges and will fail many times....don't get too hung up on any singular events.

Find the Energy in the Things you Love and Apply that Energy to your Professional Life - you don't have to become an M.C. if you love rap music but the energy behind that music can drive your organizational ambition.

Dress Professionally but Differentiate Your Personal Spirit - Don't be afraid to inject your personality into your job....who you truly are as a person will be the difference in your climb to success.

Never Underestimate a Relationship - The hot dog vendor's sister could be a CEO, take time to say a genuine hello.

Brand 'YOU' - The job for which you search and find will be qualified by your resume...people buy from, promote, and refer those who are unique in their personal ambition.

Time to Give Your Facebook a Face Lift - social networking tools can be a massive differentiator in building (or destroying) credibility and professional relationships.

Find a career that represents the true direction of your soul. Professional passion is the difference in a job and a life's ambition. If you fall into something due to tradition or skill set you will forever punch a clock. Find what you love and do what you have to do to make that your profession. Now is the time to figure out who you are and who you want to be....don't wait until others are dependant upon you to shift your professional direction.

Know that human compassion is not only essential in a professional environment it is the most important thing! Regardless of what you might have seen in the movies, stepping on people to get to the top of the corporate ladder is a farce. Every bridge to which you set fire will leave you further from home....you will need to go back one day!

Finally, let me be the first to offer you advice to take with a grain of salt. The only goals that matter are your own.

Go Now and Thrive! There has never been a better time to explore all that you have to offer this world!

- Dave