Best Laid Plans

I am often asked about the keys to leadership. Of course, there are core characteristics that we can list and quantify. Most often, however, I hearken back to sound advice. The best bosses I have had assisted my career development through very human interactions. The strategy book is thrown out the window and you talk to one another in caring terms.

Here is some of the best advice I have received:

"If you keep working that hard, you will be a State qualifier"
At a tender age I began to participate in the sport of wrestling. To be an exceptional wrestler you have to have outstanding physical conditioning, unflappable will power, and extraordinary patience. You workout for hours a day to get to a 6 minute match in which every muscle in your body is used to exhaustion. All the while, you are controlling your diet to make weight. When you lose, you have no one to blame but yourself. Wrestling is not the world's most popular sport because very few people have the courage to endure it.

In wrestling your hard work is validated with gold medals. Wrestling also allows you to overcome your greatest opponent in life....yourself! When you know that you can push yourself beyond your limitations, you are consistently willing to try harder.

The season is long and tiresome. You work so hard and occasionally you lose. You question how far you can push yourself. While your friends are cruising chicks and drinking their first beer, you can't even eat. So, when my coach pointed to me at the end of practice and told me the words highlighted above that was all I needed. Indeed, our success is often predicated on one compliment from someone we respect. When my coach told me he recognized my effort, it made me want to try ten times harder.

"Once you have wrestled, everything in life is easier" - Dan Gable

"You will not beat them, you will become one of them"
In our professional lives we are always looking for opportunities to improve ourselves. I was with a company for some time and I was getting restless. I needed some variation to the daily grind. I did everything I could to get promoted. When the opportunity for advancement finally came my way I sat down with a senior leader in the company. He asked me why I wanted a position in management. I went into my professional mission statement of making the company better by evolving the workforce.....he stopped me and said. I'm asking you why you think it is a good idea to get out of sales and go into management? After a slight pause, I told him that I thought the middle management in our company sucked and that I was willing to commit myself to inspiring our workforce instead of regulating them. He smiled and then he proclaimed the statement highlighted above.

This senior staff member could have recommended me to the hiring manager but he felt I would be wasting my life if he did. He cared enough to tell me that I could do more than position myself for lifelong mediocrity. I cherish his advice to this day....because he was right!

"Don't go gettin' insecure"
People love having a new job because it allows them to wipe the slate clean. I cannot recommend strongly enough that when changing careers an attitude make over is absolutely critical. You probably left your former job because there was some bad blood....leave it there. Easy for me to say!

I had a new job and my boss was in from out of town. I had worked hard to get a meeting with a key prospective client and was really excited to showcase my talent for the new boss. I picked him up at the airport, we arrived at the client's location, and she was not there. The excitement deflated by the need to reschedule, my boss's precious time wasted.

As we hopped back into the car, I expressed my frustration. How could someone agree to meet and then neglect the importance of our time? To which he said, "don't go gettin' insecure on me". It was a critical turning point in my career. My boss didn't hire me to see me display my skill in front of a new client, he trusted my talent. Here I was still interviewing two weeks after being employed. Despite my career change, I was still carrying the baggage of the corporate politics from my former occupation. My boss's words caused me to remember my greatness, for far too long before meeting him I was ruled by people who managed to make me believe I was not good enough....and that I had to prove myself.

These three lessons have one thing in common. They are all simple words of advice given to me from people who genuinely cared about me....and in their simple words I came to understand that.

Leadership is the act of inspiring confidence. Management is the process of challenging job function.

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Half Nelson

"Once You've Wrestled, Everything in Life is Easy"
- Dan Gable

This weekend, while my brackets were imploding, I turned my attention to the NCAA Wrestling Finals. Having spent a good part of my life in this sport, I can tell you that nothing is harder than wrestling. You use every muscle in your body for seven minutes, conditioning is crucial. Wrestlers also take on a strenuous dieting regiment. Winning a wrestling tournament means facing 3 to 6 opponents in a day ~ tired and under-nourished. There is nothing harder.

In High School just making the state wrestling tournament is a lifetime achievement. If you earn a spot on a college roster, you are among an elite group of top performers from across the world.

So you've conditioned and dieted. You've won a few tournaments as a youth. You best five people just to make a spot on the Varsity team. You wrestle 50 matches a year and need to win 90 percent of them to get a spot at the top of your weight class. The odds of competing at this level in High School are at least 1000 to 1. Once you get to college it is 50 times harder. Imagine the life long dedication of the people on the mat this weekend in Philadelphia. To have sacrificed many of the joys of youth to develop an extraordinary self-discipline. To train until you fall over and to get up and train some more.....then imagine doing this with just one leg?

Arizona State's Anthony Robles won the 125 pound National Championship with just one leg. Anthony was born with just one leg but his Mother never allowed him to think of himself as different. While dunking a basketball or running a 40 yard dash were not an option, wrestling was. So Mrs. Robles allowed her son to find his place in the world and now he has his place in the NCAA Record Book!

As I look back on my wrestling career, I remember wimping out on several occasions. Lacking the dietary discipline, skipping a work out to be with my girlfriend. When you are 16 these things are to be expected. As I have evolved into an adult the default of complaints still loom. I can always find a reason not to do something. Seeing Anthony Robles, conquer one of the world's toughest challenges with just one leg made me feel like a real wimp! How could I ever make an excuse knowing that Anthony is out there, competing at the highest level, without complaint.

There are 2 keys to Anthony's Success:
He Didn't Let Set Backs Define Him
He Found His Thing

1st Choice
Every day, we wake up and choose who to be. The traffic can annoy us. The inbox can intimidate us. A phone call can set us off course. Most of us have the ability to transcend all of that. We just choose not to.

Human Beings process over 10,000 thoughts a day and 80% of them are negative. Why do we choose to defeat ourselves? Anthony Robles, had the set back of being born with just one leg but the advantage of a positive attitude. Because his mother did not allow him to feel sorry for himself he developed an advantage over everyone else. He never developed the ability to complain.

2nd Choice
I once knew a guy who wanted to be a stand up comedian. The problem was he wasn't funny. He dedicated his life to the craft, he worked harder than anyone else in the business, but he didn't possess the essential skill of the craft. If you are not funny, you simply cannot be a comedian.

Most of us are miscast. We choose a career in finance because we are good at math or go into the family business by default. That's why 80% of our thoughts are negative because we are doing things we don't want to do. We cripple ourselves by making safe career choices without considering our passion.

I have been blessed with the competing skill sets of creativity and fierce determination. I have found a career that allows me to celebrate both traits. For this, I consider myself a success. Most people are not lucky enough to have a job that celebrates their strengths. Most people accept a job, they don't create a career. Most people are unhappy because they choose to be.

Anthony Robles had to make a decision based on his limitations and now he's a National Champion.

You don't have to do anything. So why wouldn't you do what you want!

Stop making excuses and start making choices!

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

Victory; A Definition

Growing up I had great success in two sports:
* Skateboarding
* Wrestling

I never was able to define synchronization between these two seemingly distant activities. But, it struck me while watching the X-Games last weekend. Both sports are extraordinarily competitive....in neither sport do you have teammates (essentially).

Skateboarding and Wrestling have one distinct thing in common: 100% Accountability!

When you get pinned on the Wrestling mat you cannot blame the guy in the next weight class. When you fall on your face after missing a board slide you cannot blame the hand rail. What an awesome connection, to Love that which is completely within your power. To choose to commit yourself to winning or to pull up and fail. To drive your laughter to tears. In each situation, the more you practice, the better you become. So that's where I discovered myself...with no one to pass a ball to, with no one to blame a loss on, with no one there to catch me when I fall.

Independent, Free and Accountable!

To pop your board into the air high above several stairs and to land all four wheels down is a thrill experienced by a committed few. It is next to heaven, even if no one else sees it. To experience a hard earned trick and to roll off into the sunset alone is the purest form of joy!

Likewise, when you win a wrestling match, your self-confidence shoots through the roof. There is no guess work as to who should be the match's MVP - you either win or lose. When you lose, a period of deep self reflection follows...how to avoid embarrassment at the hands of another for all to see next time I step on to the mat?

So it should make sense that the truest form of victory (and defeat) are those that rest squarely on our own shoulders. When we get to a point in life where we can be 100% accountable to our short comings we have found authenticity. When we can win without the validation of others we have discovered grace.

What motivates you professionally? Is it the act of achievement or the pat on the back. Does it mean more to you to please those who are watching or to formulate and take action on a business solution? Do you live for the business relationship or the bravado that goes along with creating it.

If someone landed a 360 kick flip, and no one else saw it, did it really happen?

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

The Third Rule of Awesomeness

Last week we viewed this clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQlzz6jGCfI

It is profoundly meaningful! A father projecting the discontent of his life to derail his son's quest for NBA greatness! It is so true that the more we learn, the more jaded we become, and the further away we get from that which is genuinely important to us.

The Third Rule of AWESOMENESS is: Every opinion is only an effort to curtail your unique motivation

I remember an interview with Tiger Woods (pre-whores) before his first professional tournament. A reporter asked him what he felt would be a respectable finish in the tournament...he replied:

A VICTORY!

- the snide group of reporters laughed for 10 seconds and looked up from their note pads to see a look of complete focus in the young man's eyes.

You may have read my posting on ReThinkHR.Org regarding Kyle Dake - the 'true' freshman who impossibly won an NCAA wrestling championship. When asked how he felt about his previously determined impossible achievement, he commented:

I AM DISAPPOINTED THAT I DIDN'T FINISH THE SEASON UNDEFEATED!

Let it be known that our greatest opponent is ourselves!

In any organization there will be a standard for greatness....it can never be capped. Why not recreate the standard yourself ? The first step to doing it is ignoring everyone who advises you what is not possible.

The Human Psyche is infinitely complex. There are a million places we can go with our thoughts and those thoughts then create our reality. Unfortunately, we humans are lemmings...tell me what is possible and I will set up a plan to get there.

It is time to put aside convention, to stop listening to those who's time has come and gone, to be aware that only one's own regret allows them to grab you by the collar and tell you to slow down.

Run through the halls, run over those in your way, let no one hold you back...you are bound by nothing! Nothing is impossible!

ONLY YOU CAN CREATE WHAT IS POSSIBLE!

"There are two pains in life; the pain of discipline and the pain of regret"

- Russ Hellickson, Ohio State Wrestling Coach

Don't Forget to Remember!

Dave

references:

http://twitter.com/davidkovacovich

www.linkedin.com/in/davidkovacovich